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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Called The RE...

But not for the reason I thought I would be!

Tuesday morning, I woke up about 5am because I had to pee. I laid there a few minutes, trying to talk myself out of using the bathroom. Finally, my bladder won the fight, and I grabbed a test. Why not? If I'm going to pee anyways, I might as well POAS, right?

The whole thought process was, it'll be negative, and I can call the RE and set up an appointment to talk about future plans. What I didn't expect to see was this...

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I was squinting at it for at least 5 minutes. I couldn't believe my eyes! Poor, M. I drug him out of bed saying, "Come look at this and tell me what you see!" He kept rubbing his eyes, but looked down and stated, "I see two lines. Hmm. TWO lines!?!"


So, yeah, I spent the morning trying to decide what to do. Do I call my OB whose not going to see me until 8 weeks, or do I call the RE, who I haven't seen since last May? Ultimately, I called the RE. And I got the answering machine, where I left a crazy message, and gave my husband's cell phone number to call me back. Which then led to me calling back to give MY cell number and feeling like quite the fool.

They are willing to see me, until we know where this is heading. I went in this morning for a beta and I will be redrawn on Friday morning. If everything doubles, and I don't spot the plan is for an ultrasound in 2 weeks.

I'm petrified.

My track record isn't exactly reassuring. The last four times I've conceived, I haven't ended up with a baby. 5 pregnancies, 1 child...not the best odds. So, I'm trying to stay calm. I'm trying to be positive. Going to the bathroom is nerve wracking, I'm scared I'll see blood. Over the moon, yet scared. You could say I'm cautiously optimistic.

The beta today was 34.

I'm praying that it doubles on Friday.

28 comments:

  1. Fingers crossed for great doubling news on Friday!

    Isn't that second line a pretty sight to see? :-)

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  2. You're in my prayers!!!! Hoping for awesome beta #'s on friday!!

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  3. Looks like we are both in the same boat:) Thanks for commenting on my blog...it looks like we both have had multiple losses, got pregnant this cycle while not being treated and we both only have one tube. Wow.

    Can't wait to see your numbers double!

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  4. So happy for you, even if it's a cautious wait and see kind of happy.

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  5. Oh yay! I got a little chill when I opened up this post. I will send some doubling beta vibes your way

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  6. Yeah! How many dpo's are you? Please BEG for progesterone. My RE just discovered that although I am getting pregnant, the follicle that is supposed to provide the progesterone is collapsing and disappearing, leading to my early m/c's. Endometrin is awesome!

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  7. I saw this title in my reader and said - CRAP ... then I clicked on and saw that picture! Sending you lots and lots of good thoughts

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  8. Wow. I hope Friday's numbers are brilliant.

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  9. I prayed for you on my way to work this morning. I know this will work out!
    Amber

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  10. What an interesting turn of events!

    As a fellow 5 pregnancies/ 1 live child sister-in-loss, I know where your head is now. I know it sooo well.

    What dpo are you (says me the overanalyzing one0?

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  11. I'm at my computer saying a prayer for you right now.

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  12. Here from LFCA

    Hooray for a positive beta! I can't wait to see it double!!

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  13. AAAAAAAAuuuuuuugh! It's contagious -you didn't stand a chance!
    I'm excited for you and looking forward to hear your beta doubling numbers. Yay!

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  14. OMG!!! WAHOOO!!! Congratulations! I am soooo happy for you and hoping that lucky #6 is the one for you and your family... I too can relate to five pregnancies = only one living child and am hoping for both of us the our #6s are healthy and ones that sticks.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers and I can't wait to find out what your beta tomorrow is! I totally get you being catiously optimistic. It is a scary place to PG after losses, but I do believe it is possible that our babies can survive and be born alive. One day at a time. (((HUGS)))

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  15. I totally hear you on the potty paranoia. I think this tww is far worse than the traditional one.

    Here's to a beta in the 70s or 80s, and a lovely spot-free, hope-filled two weeks.

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  16. Lots of prayers coming your way and I'm going to be cautiously opptomistic for you, okay?

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  17. Fingers crossed from me too :) yippeee! xxx

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  18. OMG!!! I'm SO excited for you!!! Can't wait to see the big doubling beta tomorrow. My first beta was 15, so don't you worry about the 'low' number - it's just a beginning number, not low.

    (and my word verification is "sings" - even blogspot knows you are happy!)

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  19. CONGRATS ON THE +++ HPT and the GREAT BETA!

    Oh, and I checked out the cake you made for your daughter (in a prior post)...WOW, you're super-duper talented - I could never make a cake look so good ; )

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  20. YAY!!!!!!! I am so excited for you! Definitely demand progesterone. Are they going to have you take baby aspirin as well? Sometimes women have blood clotting disorders they're not aware of and the baby aspirin can do wonders.

    Anyway, fingers crossed, prayers sent upward for you! I know what you mean about checking for blood when you use the restroom. Once you've miscarried that fear is always there. *HUGS* Just stay positive (no pun intended)!!!

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  21. congrats -- keeping my fingers crossed for a great beta result on Friday.

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  22. I know that terrified feeling so well! The excitement lasts about 5 minutes before the fear kicks in for us recurrent miscarriers. I'll cross all my crossables!!!

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  23. Oh my gosh!! I am THRILLED for you!!! I will be refreshing your page all day, waiting to hear your betas. GOOD LUCK!!!

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  24. Yahoo! This is thrilling!!! I hope that beta doubles nicely and you have great news to report to your fans on Friday. I am crossing everything for you!!

    HUGS!
    Carrie

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  25. Yeah on the two pink lines!

    Everything is crossed for you.

    HUGS!
    Liddy

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  26. Hoping for Friday luck for you...All the very best and congratulations!

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  27. Wishing you luck today!! Everything from my eyes to my toes are crossed for continued good news.

    Congratulations!

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