Saturday, February 28, 2009


That's how I feel this month.

Since part of this blog is chronicling my struggle to have child #2, I suppose I should talk about where I am in this cycle. If you don't want to read a lot of TMI, you might want to skip this post ;)

I'm not temping, but observing CM and twinges to kinda of have an idea about where I am. I refuse to temp when we're on a break from medical intervention...gotta save my sanity somehow! Pretty sure that I'm about 4 days past ovulation. I had copious amounts of CM and pulling pain on Sunday into Monday of this week. I was excited that the pulling pain was on my right side! I need to release an egg from the right, to have a chance, since I don't have a tube on the left side. Felt like a nice strong "O", and probably for the first time in months, M. and I managed to do the deed more than once. *turning red*

If I'm not pregnant this cycle, I'm going to have NO problem making that call. Because if feels like everything lined up just right...even the stars.

So, it looks like I'll be testing March 10th.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

To Call Or Not To Call

That is the question.

About 9 months ago, M. and I decided to take an RE break. After 4 failed cycles, only 1 of which we managed to do an IUI, I was discouraged. I felt like I had lost myself and was only focusing on what I didn't have, instead of enjoying what I did. Coming to that decision was hard and the focus of many long discussions between us. The doc had pretty much told us that IVF was our best option and I was not ready to hear that. How could that be? I'd managed to get pregnant 4 times in two years, obviously I didn't need him.

One month later, I was going to acupuncture once a week, changed my whole diet, and was convinced that I would be pregnant sooner rather than later. By mid-October, I was starting to worry...and when November came and went with NO positive pregnancy tests, I freaked. It had been one full year since I'd seen those beautiful 2 lines. M. calmed me down and reminded me that we were just fine, and we'd continue to try on our own until March.

Why March? Well, March was the "date" we put out there.

I'm one of those people who needs to have a game plan. I'm not highly organized, but I always seem to deal with things better when I have a plan. The more I know about something, the more likely I can keep myself rational. It's a blessing and a curse. Because we all know that Dr. is not usually a friend. But for me, that's how I deal with stress.

So, yeah. March is 3 days away. 3 days away.

M. and I started to discuss when to make the call last night. Of course, this lead to us discussing whether we're ready for the possibility of IVF. There are so many variables right now. Is it the right time? Should we be doing this with the economy so crappy? Can we deal with the emotional investment? What if it fails? The list goes on and on. The one thing we keep coming back to is money. Doesn't everyone? But I remember my mother always said, "If you wait until you have enough money to have kids, you'll NEVER have them." Granted, she just meant starting a family, in general, but honestly, it still makes sense when you're talking about fertility treatments, too.

For as far as I can tell, I'm currently smack in the middle of a cycle. I'm pretty sure I ovulated earlier this week. We've decided to wait and see if this cycle brings a miracle. Who knows?

But you can bet that I'll be calling that RE on cycle day 1, if it doesn't.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Unwanted Questions

I feel so behind in blogging. If you've stuck around, thank you. Since I was sick, I have several posts knocking into each other in my head begging to be typed out. I'm going to try to get to those over the next couple of days.


A week ago Sunday, I went to a scrapbooking crop. A girlfriend had invited me to her sister in law's, where about 15 women spent the afternoon scrapbooking, talking, and eating! It was a neat experience, and somehow between the chit-chat, I managed to almost complete a 6x6 scrapbook of my triathlon experience last summer.

Obviously, most of the women had kids, multiple kids and the talk revolved around that. I figured that it was only a matter of time before I was asked the dreaded question. Because if you have one child people readily assume that A) You are fertile, B) You want to have more children, and C) That any of this is THEIR business.

About 6 hours in, it happened. Innocently enough, I was asked, "So, you gonna have more kids?" I never know how to respond. My answer totally depends on my mood and how well I know the questioner. I think I responded with a weak, "If the Lord chooses to bless us." I used to feel okay when I used that response, but I'm not going to's starting to tick me off! It seems innocuous enough, when we were only months into TTC again. Now, as I'm going into my 4th year of struggling, it makes me mad. Why hasn't the Lord chosen to bless M. and I? What have I done wrong? I've been pregnant 5 times, yet I only have 1 child...

But other responses don't feel right either. You could always throw out the, "We'll see..." or the ever popular, "Maybe.", but that always leads to other questions. And I don't think most people want to hear the truth. The truth that we've been trying, and nothing is working. That I've lost 4 pregnancies. That Miss O. is still an only child.

And I always love to get the response, " Just relax and it will happen." Really??? I didn't know that I was working too hard at it. I heard a new one at the crop, one woman told me, "Put everything away, all the baby stuff, and you're sure to get pregnant." I had to bite my tongue, not to unleash some fury on her. Because, surely, boxing everything up will cause the tides to turn and I will achieve a sticky pregnancy for that reason alone. *rolling my eyes*

How do you fend off unwanted questions?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Show & Tell

Woke up this morning, still finding it hard to believe that I worked the fight last night. It was awesome! This is definitely one of the perks of my line of work.

I checked into the production truck yesterday at 1pm, even though the fight wasn't slated to start until 11pm. That's one of the things about TV, it's a lot of "hurry up and wait". So, I met the director, got my credentials and had a walk through on what exactly this job would entail.

Credentials & Information

Basically, I was in charge of making sure the announcers for the fight, Nick Charles and Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini were in the places they needed to be when, and I was a runner between them and the stats guys, so that Nick would know how many punches thrown, averages hit, etc. I sat ring-side, right next to the fight bell. Even though this pay-per-view event's featured fight was in my town, the rest of the televised fights were at Madison Square Gardens in NYC. So, there was a lot of waiting around and trying to time things with New York.

Of course, they didn't just have the featured fight of the the hours leading up to it, there were 8 fights on the card. We used those fights as rehearsals for the main event, so everyone was in place and practicing. One of the fights was particularly bloody, as boxing sometimes gets...and that's when I realized the downfall to sitting SO close to the ring. Sweat, spray, and blood would fly out of the ring and onto us sitting right there. Yuck. That was pretty gross.

Finally, it was time for the big fight. And what a fight it was! 9 rounds ending with a called knockout!


After the fight was called, I had to get "Boom Boom" into the ring to interview the winner and about crazy! There were SO many people running around, and it was super loud. But everything went off without a hitch and our director was very happy.

Most definitely an experience I won't soon forget!

Find out what the rest of the class is showing here.

Friday, February 20, 2009


Yesterday afternoon an old friend called me.

"Whatcha doing on Saturday?", he inquired. "Uh, going to a 3 year old's birthday party.", was my response. "I don't think so", he quickly said.

He was right.

You see, there is a BIG boxing fight happening in my town tomorrow night. A world middleweight belt title is on the line for one of our young boxers. I was planning on watching it over at a friend's house with M., but this is much better.

I'm going to work it! Woo-hoo!

I get a ringside seat AND I get paid to be there, sorta like having your cake and eating it too, I suppose. I'm super excited. It's my first time working with a Pay per view crew, and I'm going to be the stage manager for the fight. Basically, I'll be the communicator between the directors out in the big satellite truck and the producer for the on air talent.

And the best part? My name will now be out there as a freelancer, and one who can do stuff on really short notice.

Thank goodness that I'm feeling better.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I'm So Tired...

of being sick. Seriously!

I have finally manged to get my sorry butt of the couch today. I have not been this sick for about 6 years, I forgot how bad strep throat can feel. Ouch.

The 3 day fun-fest started Sunday night...a scratchy throat, chills, a little fever. Monday morning I woke up freezing, and felt like my throat was the size of a dime. I popped in my BBT thermometer, it was the closest one to me (sad, isn't it? I haven't temped in 6 months, yet it still sits on my bedstand), and was shocked to see 103.45 degrees when it beeped! Called off work, and called the doctor. Thank goodness, M. was off work, and was able to occupy Miss O., as I spent most of the day in bed.

Doctor told me what I thought, strep throat. Great. I haven't had it since I got my tonsils out in 1999. So, clear liquids and antibiotics were prescribed, and I went on my way. Tuesday was another lost day from work, but at least I was feeling a little better.

Made it through a day of work today, and just ate a little soup. That was the first "meal" I've had since Sunday night, as the throat hurt to bad to eat anything but popsicles and tea. I just want to be healthy for longer than 2 weeks at a time. Is that too much to ask? This is getting ridiculous!


Thank you to everyone for your suggestions and support on running. As soon as I'm not tired after taking a shower, I'm going to try the Coach to 5K program that the lovely Kate suggested.

I think that this is what I love most about our little community, the way that we support each other, even on non-IF issues!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Long Week

I've been a horrible blogger lately. This week seemed to drag on and on, and nothing went right. All week. I'm going to take today and catch up on my reading and commenting. So, this post is going to be a quick update on what's going on, and probably a bit of a mess, too ;)

  • First of all, Happy Valentine's Day! We aren't doing anything special, but I hope your day is a good one.

  • Miss O. has an ear infection. I can't complain, it's her first one in her life and our first round of antibiotics. But she's finally feeling a little better.

  • Who prescribes chewable amox.ocillin to a 4 year old!?! It smells awful, I can only imagine how it tastes? Any tricks out there for getting medicine into kids?

  • Work sucks. Especially when you have a sick kid at home.

  • Can you say guilt? I've run the gamut on that one this week!

  • Diet and exercise were so-so this week. I didn't eat awful, but only worked out 2 days so far...I'm hoping to get a workout in today.

  • Octomom. Why am I allowing this to bother me so much?

  • My eyes are so swollen from crying. Yesterday, was bad. I couldn't stop the tears, no matter how hard I tried.

  • Looking forward to tomorrow. I'm going to spend the day with a friend scrapbooking!

That's been my week in a nutshell. Now, I'm off to catch up on all of your lives!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

There's An Athlete Inside...

This morning I tried a new variation to my schedule.

I woke up at 7, before everyone else and got out the door to the gym. By 7:35, I was on a treadmill starting to work out. I walked/ran for 30 minutes...I call it "wogging" because I'm not really running at 5 mph. Lol. I walked about 20 minutes and I wogged for 10. But I can only run for 5 minutes at a time. I suck.

None of my clothes fit anymore. I've only gained about 10 pounds from last year at this time, but it's enough that I'm uncomfortable. So, I have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.

I want to be a runner. I do. But I hate every minute of it. Period.

I don't know if it's because I haven't given it a fair shake, or because I just talk myself out of it. Either way, I need to figure something out. I like being active. I enjoy many other activities. So, the plan is to get to the gym and do something at least 3 days a week. Hopefully, I can build from there.

As I walked through the parking lot to my car this morning, I realized that I felt good. If for nothing other than sanity, I need to do this. For me. If nothing else, it clears my head.

So, any tips on running? Will I ever love it, or is it something I'm just going to hate, but suffer through?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Feeling Inadequate

It's been a rough couple of days here...

Miss O. is sick. It started Sunday as a belly ache and a fever. Monday brought fever and the sniffles.

This morning was really rough. She didn't want to get up and felt really warm. When I took her temperature, it was around 102 degrees. Her little face looked up at me and she looked so sad. There was no way I could take her to daycare, and I had to go to work. M. had already left for work, so I called him in a panic. "What do I do?", I said, "It's too late for me to call off." Luckily, M.'s dad is retired and he was willing to take Miss O until M. could leave work.

These are the days when I really question being a working mom. She wasn't that sick, but feeling bad enough that she just wanted her Mommy...and I couldn't be there. All day I kept thinking about her and thinking I should be home with her. Ugh. What you going to do?

When I came home, the tyl.enol had kicked in and a day of rest must have helped, as she seemed much perkier and happy.

Until tonight. She came out from her playroom and said, "My ear hurts." Now I'm concerned. Miss O. has never mentioned an earache. Ever.

I hope that she feels better tomorrow.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Still Here

What great ideas you all had!

I'm now addicted to checking on here for deals, definitely going to find a way to fit in a trip to see Baltimore and/or DC this spring, and am in love with the idea of going to Key West.

The bummer is that it looks like we're not going anywhere, at least not today. *sigh* I had forgotten that the furniture people were coming today to fix our bed. Just like cable guys, they won't give you a time frame for their arrival. Apparently we are stop number 9 today out of 9, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to be stuck here at the house until late afternoon at the earliest.

We've been waiting for over a month to get them out to fix it.

Right now, our bed is being supported by bricks under the bed rail so that it doesn't sink to the floor on M.'s side. Sadly, I don't even have a great story to go with how the bed broke ;) And it's only a year old! I am NOT chancing missing them.

What do you do when you have to wait for the repairman/delivery/cable guy?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Help Needed.

M. has a need to get out of town bug. Like yesterday. It happens every year at this time, like clockwork.

How do I know?

He called me at work today and said, "We could go to the land of for 7 days...for $1600! Let's do it!" I felt horrible bursting his bubble with a resounding no, but I don't think it's the time to book a week-long vacation. We've been trying to get some friends together to go on a vacation, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon.

I have a 3 day weekend coming up, and I'd like to treat M. to a quick trip. I'm open to flying, if it's not too expensive, or driving. It could include Miss O. or just be the 2 of us. We could leave Saturday evening and not have to be back home until Monday night. If it helps for reference, we live in the state where the song, "Hang on Sloopy" includes the shout O-H-I-O in the chorus ;)

So, dear Internet, any ideas???

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Where oh where...

Is my period?


Tested negative last Friday morning. She was due on Saturday.

Not late enough to get my hopes up, yet.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Show & Tell

25 Random Things about me...


1. I was a Pre-med major for over 2 years.

2. I love the color brown. For everything. Paint, clothes, makeup, everything.

3. My husband was once an intern at the TV station...that's how we met ;)

4. I completed a sprint triathlon last summer. Loved it!

5. Scrap booking is something I enjoy doing, but rarely find time to do.

6. My friends like to tease me by calling me "Martha"...

7. I made Miss O's 1st birthday cake. It was in the shape of Winnie the Pooh. Unfortunately, I also chopped an onion and had it in the fridge with the cake. It tasted like onions.

8. There is a town called Pleasantville in PA. I grew up there. My cousin still lives there.

9. I have worked in TV news for 11 years.

10. Secondary infertility sucks. I've been trying to have a 2nd child since 2005.

11. Photography is a passion for me.

12. I can make my own chapstick. (See #6)

13. Coffee. I always have a cup in my hand. Enough said.

14. M. and I have traveled to Punta Cana, Mexico, and Jamaica together.

15. I have flown UPS. As in "What can brown do for you?", UPS.

16. Jeans are a staple of my wardrobe.

17. My favorite meal to eat out is breakfast.

18. I can waste hours in a craft store...and have done just that.

19. I miss old friends, and am trying to make 2009 the year I reconnect.

20. My daughter will be 5 in can that be possible?

21. Biggest pet peeve? Liars. Just don't lie to me.

22. I wish my daughter would have met her Grandma Karen. I can only hope to be as wonderful mom as my Mom was to me and my sis!

23. Favorite moment of the day is when I walk in the door, and my daughter comes running to me!

24. I drive a Saturn's the first car I ever bought new.

25. My ears are double pierced.


Wanna see what the rest of the class is showing? Click here.