Saturday, May 30, 2009

Eight, 8, eight...

First, the rules:

1. Mention person who tagged me: Rebecca from A View On My Life
2. Complete list of 8's
3. Tag 8 people

And now the lists:

8 things I am looking forward to:

1. Shopping at the Outlets later today.
2. Traveling to Denver in June for a family wedding.
3. Painting my living & dining rooms.
4. The long, lazy days of summer.
5. My upcoming IVF cycle
6. Girl's night out.
7. Heading south in July for vacation.
8. Catching up on my scrapbooking.

8 things I did yesterday

1. Went to the Y to work out.
2. Came home without exercising due to a water main break.
3. Spent 8 hours at work.
4. Picked up Miss O. from daycare.
5. Went to the store with Miss O.
6. Made dinner.
7. Watched a little TV.
8. Played the Wii with Miss O., and M.

8 things I wish I could do:

1. Cook dinner more often.
2. Travel more.
3. Carry a pregnancy to term, again.
4. Figure out how to organize my paperwork.
5. Be happy with the little things.
6. Scrapbook more.
7. Weigh less.
8. Meet some bloggers IRL.

8 shows i watch:

1. Big Bang Theory
2. How I Met Your Mother
3. American Idol
4. Deadliest Catch
5. Jon & Kate Plus 8 (Why? You've got me!)
6. Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives
7. Deliver Me
8. What Not To Wear

8 favorite fruits:

1. Apples
2. Strawberries
3. Kiwis
4. Peaches
5. Blueberries
6. Watermelon
7. Grapes
8. Oranges

8 places i’d like to travel:

1. Australia
2. London
3. Seattle, WA
4. California
5. Italy
6. Anywhere with a beach
7. Florida
8. Ireland

8 places I have lived:

1. Fairview, PA
2. New Haven, CT
3. Pleasantville, PA
4. Titusville, PA
5. New Wilmington, PA
6. Hubbard, OH
7. Youngstown, OH
8. We'll see....

8 folks i’m tagging:

I'm WAY behind on reading blogs, so I have no idea who has already done this and who hasn't.

So, if you want to do it, go ahead!


Anyone follow the story this week of the mother & daughter kidnapping that turned to be a hoax?

At first, I felt really bad for the husband and worried about them. But yesterday, I ran a national story in my newscast about the mom being returned to Pennsylvania and the reporter had talked to the father. I was SO upset with what he had to say. To paraphrase, he basically claimed that she went crazy because of the hormone shots she took to conceive with IVF!

Are you kidding me???

Their baby is 8 months old. What a cop out. And just more fodder for the the lawmakers to grab a hold of and twist to try to stop fertility treatments in the U.S..

It just made my blood boil.

Friday, May 29, 2009


I'm glad it's Friday!

Been a crazy week...barbecues, preschool graduation, lots of work.

Goal is to catch up my blog and catch up reading yours this weekend!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Seven Years



Seven years ago, I walked down the aisle to marry my best friend.

Can you believe it's been seven years already? Sometimes it feels like it's only been a couple of months and other times, it's hard to remember a time without you in my life. You were the first man who accepted me for who I was, good and bad, and refused to give up on me.


On our wedding day, I remember dancing with you at the end of the night. Begging you not to let the night end, because I was loving every minute of the day. It was just so magical and felt so right. We were surrounded by friends and family, the people we loved the most, celebrating our union, our future.

Who knew the ups and downs we would experience?

Your job changes. Starting our journey to build a family. The amazing high of getting pregnant so quickly with Miss O. Planning for her arrival. The crashing blow of my mother's death, followed by the birth of Miss O. Feeling our way through parenthood, trying to do everything right. Attempting to try for a second baby. The first miscarriage. Your approval of letting my sister move in with us, until she got back on her feet. ( I'm still amazed that you were okay with this!). Jamaica. The ectopic pregnancy. Miss O. growing and changing. More losses. Disney World. The first day of preschool.


Many memories...and good or bad, they are ours. And I am so thankful that I've experienced them with you.

I love you, baby.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

It's A New Day

That it is.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my pathetic post last night. I just needed to put it out there, because I wouldn't dare share my disappointment with anyone but M. in real life, you know.

It's just frustrating because they came to me about 10 months ago, all concerned because they had been TTC#2 and hadn't been successful. After three months of trying. 3 freaking months.


M. and I have been STC #2 for almost 4 years now! I hate sounding bitter, but why would you ask me??? Guess I gave them some good assvice, though...and I won't have to hold the baby for a few weeks since they live over 3 hours away. I'll have enough time to mentally prepare for the visit and all the emotions that will go along with it. That's my silver lining.

I'm starting to wonder if it will ever sting less...


In other news, I'm hosting a barbecue at my house tomorrow.

My family kind of volunteered me to host it, and I'm excited. I live about 2 hours from everyone, except my sister, so they don't often come here. Miss O. and I usually travel to be with them, so hosting will be a nice change of pace.

Miss O. and I braved the long lines at the warehouse store to pick up the last few things we needed this morning. Why I didn't go earlier this week is beyond me? Long, long lines filled with grumpy people. Lots of fun.

I should be cleaning up the house, instead of I should probably wrap this up. Haha.

Hope you all have a great holiday weekend!

Friday, May 22, 2009

I Want To Be Happy


I received a text message a few minutes ago with the picture of my new niece. She's beautiful, and I'm thankful that she's here safe and sound and healthy.

I just wish it didn't hurt my heart so much.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Relay For Life 2009

Liv and Mommy

We had a great time at Relay for Life!

The event ran from 6pm on Friday night, through 6pm Saturday evening. I split our time walking up between the 2 days, so that we could experience different things. After work on Friday, I headed out and picked up Miss O. from daycare. I brought the wagon with me, because I figured Miss O.'s little legs would get tired pretty quick. That was definitely a smart move, as we ended up walking for about 2 hours and she was tired about 3 laps in. It was nice, as we participated in the "team" lap, where everyone as a team walks around for one lap, and then some participants return to their tents, and others keep walking.

The goal is to have someone from each team on the track at all times.

For the last 2 years, our team captain has walked ALL 24 hours, which gives "moms" like me a little more flexibility in walking. He only requires that you walk 1 hour of the 24, but I always try to walk as much as Miss O. will let me!

We returned on Saturday afternoon, with my sister in tow, to walk again. One of the hours was "Dance Around The Track", and they played songs like, "The Electric Slide", you know, songs that have line dance associated with them. Miss O. thought that was great, and was dancing right along with everyone else! This time about an hour and a half in, the rain started. But we were not to be deterred and finished out another two hours before we called it a day.

Big thank yous to everyone who wished us well and donated!

Monday, May 18, 2009

I See A Pattern...

Sniff, sniff, cough, sniff, sniff, cough.

Yes, I am sick, again!

I've got another head cold. *sigh*


Relay for life went great, and I surpassed my goal! I promise to tell you all about it, once I feel human again.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Gearing Up For Relay

Olivia & Me

Miss O. And I are gearing up to participate in our local Relay for Life. We're walking in my mom's memory on my work team. It's going to be a great time and it's coming up quick! As in, this weekend, quick!

Relay for Life is a lot of fun...but it's serious business, too! You see, it raises a lot of money so the American Cancer Society can help people who have been touched by cancer and funds research to cure it.

If you've never heard of Relay, it's a great event. I've been participating in them for almost 10 years now, and this will be Miss O.'s 5th event. It's a 24 hour event, where teams dedicated to fighting cancer, ANY kind of cancer, walk for donations. After my Mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 1999, I walked in my first Relay, and I've done one every year since. Miss O. walked, okay, was pushed, in her first event at 3 months old! She has also lead the luminary lap at 2 relays in my mom's memory.


It's been 5 years since Mom lost her battle.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about something and think, "I need to call Mom." It's an instinct that just won't go away, and honestly, I don't want it to. For me, participating in Relay for Life, is a way to keep her memory alive and share it with Miss O.

So, how can you help us?

You can make a donation to my team, by clicking here. Even if you can't donate, just do me a favor...hug the ones you love a little tighter, and tell your mom you love her.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Not Enough Time

Life is okay.

I'm a horrible blogger. Trying to stay up to date with reading blogs, but can't seem to come up with anything to write on mine. I'm also using my little bit of free time to read Mel's infertility book.

There just aren't enough hours in the day...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


To move forward in our TTC journey, I had to undergo a HSG today.

It's the second time I've endured this procedure and frankly, it's not much fun. I started the day with a trip to the Y to work off some nervous energy, and then went into see Dr. Hope for cultures and a mock transfer.

The mock transfer was really easy. Basically they are testing your cervix for how to insert the catheter for the transfer procedure. It didn't really feel any different than my IUI, minus the pressure of the insemination. M. was in there with me, mostly for moral support, and because I like to have an extra set of ears when we talk to the RE.

From there, M. and I went down the street to another medical center for the HSG. Here, M. had to remain in the waiting room, as radiation is involved, so I was on my own. First step was being led to a small dressing room where they told me to strip from the waist down and gave me two paper robes to wear. I put one on in the front and one in the back to feel covered. Boy, are they noisy! Every little movement I made sounded like I was doing jumping jacks. I then had to hold my clothes and go sit in another waiting room with a bunch of other women. All, who I might add, were NOT naked from the waist down. My guess is that they were there for mammograms, as they all had their pants and shoes on, and were wearing nice cloth robes on top.

My name was called relatively quickly, thank goodness, and I was moved into the X-ray room. I had to lay down on the table and Dr. Hope tried to distract me from what he was doing down there with small talk. He did a pretty good job, but I have to be honest, the clamp he placed on my cervix hurt! After the catheter was in place, the radiologist entered the room and pulled the machine over my abdomen to take the pictures. They wheeled a small TV screen over, and I could see the image, while the pushed the dye and took the pictures. The first push of dye filled my uterus and started to go into my tubes. They didn't like what they saw, so Dr. Hope pushed some more dye in again. I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, but managed to hold it together. After a few more x-rays, he removed the catheter and told me to lay still. He returned to the room about 5 minutes later and actually showed me the x-ray films. The decision? My right tube is clear, and neither tube looks like it has any fluid in it! The news I wanted to hear!

After he left the room, the nurses asked me to sit up and swing my legs off the table, but not stand up. The one nurse asked me how I felt and I was honest saying, "I feel gross!" They both laughed and said, "Good answer, but are you dizzy?". When I said no, I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom to clean up and get dressed again. Oh my goodness, I forgot how sticky the dye is! And thank goodness I remembered to bring my own pads.

Honestly, other than a few cramps here and there this afternoon, I feel okay. M. and I are to call the office in June to come in and set a timeline for our IVF cycle. We're aiming to cycle in August, after we go on vacation.

I'm just SO thankful that we don't have to remove my tube.

Monday, May 4, 2009

It Still Stings

You would think that after almost 4 years of struggling to conceive #2, that a flip remark from someone who is just an acquaintance could slide off your back.

It doesn't. Sometimes I wonder if it ever will...

Yesterday, we had a wonderful day. It started with a trip out to the local flea market, where M. and I searched for a trellis for Miss O.'s room. We ended up empty handed, when it came to the trellis, but I did manage to get some red peppers and asparagus.

We then headed to see Sesame Street Live. Miss O. enjoyed it, but sadly, I think it was probably the last year we'll see Elmo. About 15 minutes before the end of the show, she leaned over to me and said, "Can we go home now?".

Finally, we rounded out the day with a trip to the local home show. M. and I would like to create a patio in our backyard, and we thought we might get some ideas from the displays. This is where my day hit a speed bump. As we were walking through the aisles, we stopped to say hello to someone who used to work with both of us a few years back. As he looked at Miss O., he was surprised to see how big she had gotten. Then the line I dread the most was said, "Wow, she's so big, you need to start trying for another!"

(insert squealing breaks and uncomfortable silence)

Yeah, I think I muttered something like we were working on it. I just hate that something that was not meant to offend me, bothered me so much. That my whole demeanor was affected by a small remark. I'm embarrassed to say that it took away from my day.

You would think that after all this time, I'd be used to it.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Let's Talk Clutter

I live for the weekend.

The only problem with that? They fly by. Between cleaning up my house, which I really slack on during the week, and whatever I have planned, I never seem to have enough time. Not enough hours in the day, and I end up exhausted come Monday morning.

As the weather warms up, it gets worse. The nicer it is outside, the less I want to stay inside. That's okay, but that means housework gets pushed back even further. I joked with M. this morning that I've been waiting for the house to clean itself for a week now. Obviously, it's not going to clean itself, but wouldn't it be nice if it did?

Sometimes I wish that "" would show up at my door. I'm not that bad, but I sure could use the help! Organization has never been a strong suit of mine. I tend to make piles. And then piles move from room to room. Oh, and paperwork! I can't ever seem to make a dent in that pile. M. is just as guilty, as he never returns things to their proper places. It's taken me almost 7 years to get him to take dirty dishes to the sink!

For as much as I fit a Type A/first child stereotype, this is probably the only part of my personality that doesn't fit. And I just can't seem to figure out why. It frustrates me. I want to not have to worry about unexpected guests stopping by. I would love to be able to invite friends over at the drop of a hat, and not worry about having to clean. I love the feeling I get when I sit in a just cleaned, de-cluttered room...but I can't seem to keep it that way.

Any suggestions on keeping a clean, not just tidy home? Or on organizational skills?