Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Expect the Unexpected

I've posted a whopping 5 times up to this point in 2013.  The last time was in April! Debated numerous times about just letting this space just fade away, or even closing up shop. I'd get a post idea pop into my head, but then the little voice would whisper, "Why bother? You never find time to sit down, and no one is reading anymore anyways..."

All summer I've meant to sit down & place an update here.  All summer I've just failed to do it.

It wasn't that I didn't have anything to say, it's just that I was too busy living.  Taking care of two 3-year-olds, plus a 9-year-old is pretty time consuming and exhausting. I just didn't have it at the end of the day to sit down and put a sentence that made sense together.

But, it's been nagging at me.  What to do, what to do with this space?


Pull up a chair, this is going to be a long one....

Last fall, I think I posted that I had signed up for a running class.  I'm proud to say that I completed that class, ran my first 5k on Thanksgiving Day 2012, and haven't stopped since.  I ran my second 5k in January in the cold & snow.  I completed a sprint triathlon in May of this year, my second ever, and just ran a 10k the last week of August.  That was the longest I've ever ran without walking.  EVER.

Over the last year, as I exercised more, I started to make some better choices when eating.  As I lost weight, grew stronger, and amazed at what my body could actually do, I realized that I was finding myself again. All the years of secondary IF, all the years of failed treatments, of pregnancy loss, of pain started to fade into a memory.  Every pound shed, all 35 of them, left me not just physically lighter, but emotionally lighter, as well.

In July, while on vacation in Myrtle Beach, I took a picture of me, a selfie.  Once home, I pulled up a picture from July of 2012 and realized how far I had come.  If you follow me on twitter, you'll recognize it.
 Please ignore the teddy bear & my face, we were showing how BIG a gift to the twins was!

I wasn't at my goal weight, but I was a lot closer than I've been in many, many years.  I've felt great this summer.  It was fun to pull out old clothes and have them actually fit. I've fell in love with Zumba, and added it to my running twice a week. No matter what I did, all summer, I have gained and lost the same 3 to 5 pounds.  All. Summer. Long.

Ok, I thought, it's a plateau, it won't last forever.

Where am I going with this?  I'm not really sure.  I just know that in a million, billion, trillion years I was not expecting the news I received last week.

About three weeks ago, I started noticing some abdominal cramping/pulling sensations when I would work out, get out of a chair or bent down to help the twins.  At first, I brushed it off as a pulled muscle.  After a week of random pain, I said to M. that I thought I might have an ovarian cyst. 

I was not happy!  I've been on the pill since weaning C at 18 months to keep cysts away, how the heck could I have one now?!?  So, M. suggested I better call the doctor.

After another week of just working through the pain, I agreed with him.  I knew that they'd ask if I was pregnant, so I picked up a test, just so I could confidently answer that, "No, I was not."  I took the test in the afternoon expecting the usual negative result.

It wasn't negative, it was positive.  What?!?

So, instead of getting an ultrasound to check on my "cyst", I found myself having an ultrasound to make sure the pregnancy wasn't in my tube.

It wasn't.  

They measured the baby at 16 weeks, 5 days.  I've been pregnant all summer, without having a clue. 

Mind blown.

I guess I know now why I haven't been able to lose those 5 pounds!