A week ago Sunday, I went to a scrapbooking crop. A girlfriend had invited me to her sister in law's, where about 15 women spent the afternoon scrapbooking, talking, and eating! It was a neat experience, and somehow between the chit-chat, I managed to almost complete a 6x6 scrapbook of my triathlon experience last summer.
Obviously, most of the women had kids, multiple kids and the talk revolved around that. I figured that it was only a matter of time before I was asked the dreaded question. Because if you have one child people readily assume that A) You are fertile, B) You want to have more children, and C) That any of this is THEIR business.
About 6 hours in, it happened. Innocently enough, I was asked, "So, you gonna have more kids?" I never know how to respond. My answer totally depends on my mood and how well I know the questioner. I think I responded with a weak, "If the Lord chooses to bless us." I used to feel okay when I used that response, but I'm not going to lie...it's starting to tick me off! It seems innocuous enough, when we were only months into TTC again. Now, as I'm going into my 4th year of struggling, it makes me mad. Why hasn't the Lord chosen to bless M. and I? What have I done wrong? I've been pregnant 5 times, yet I only have 1 child...
But other responses don't feel right either. You could always throw out the, "We'll see..." or the ever popular, "Maybe.", but that always leads to other questions. And I don't think most people want to hear the truth. The truth that we've been trying, and nothing is working. That I've lost 4 pregnancies. That Miss O. is still an only child.
And I always love to get the response, " Just relax and it will happen." Really??? I didn't know that I was working too hard at it. I heard a new one at the crop, one woman told me, "Put everything away, all the baby stuff, and you're sure to get pregnant." I had to bite my tongue, not to unleash some fury on her. Because, surely, boxing everything up will cause the tides to turn and I will achieve a sticky pregnancy for that reason alone. *rolling my eyes*
How do you fend off unwanted questions?