Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Panic Attacks

Thank you all for your support and concern.

I really, really appreciate it. I feel so blessed to have found such a wonderful community that "gets" it. That said, I've made a decision about this pregnancy and I would request that you respect my decision, even if you don't agree with it.


After a long discussion with M., my RE, and my OB/GYN I will be going forward with the methotrexate tomorrow morning. We all have concluded that it's probably the best step now.
The facts are I only have one tube left. I lost the other to a ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. I can sit and wait it out, but honestly, EVERY day that I do that, I chance the health of my tube. I've been a wreck for the last day and a half, my heart has been racing and I'm questioning ANY twinge I have on my right side.

I'm just heartbroken, but I know that this is what I need to do.


  1. I know this breaks your heart, but I think it has to be done. I fully respect your decision and I'm sorry you have to be going through this. I wish I could take away some of your pain.

  2. I'm so sorry. This has to be horrible for you.

  3. I am so sorry you have to do this but am so glad you have a chance to save your tube. I am tubeless over here, and I wish I still had one.

    I can't imagine the pain, confusion and fear you are feeling, but we are all here for you. You are surrounded by supportive people. Please let us know how it goes. Thinking of you each day. Truly.

    Hugs and love,

  4. Oh hun, do what's best for you!! Don't you worry about anyone else's opinion! I'm so sorry that you're going through this.


  5. I know your heart is breaking over this decision but I'd make the same decision if I was faced with the dilema:-( Miss O needs a healthy, strong mama. Love to you...

  6. I chose the same path - did the metho even though I wasn't even sure it was in my tube. It took about 3 very loooong months for my hcg to get down to 0. I hope yours goes much faster.

    It was my second round of metho as well.


  7. I will slapaho that is Mean to you about your decision. Only you and your DR know what is best for you. I stand behind you in support! No matter what! I am still so very sorry for your losses

  8. (((hugs)))

    I can't say I'm sorry enough. No one should have to go through this again and again and again. Only you can know what is the right thing to do for *you* so don't let anyone else's opinion on it get to you!

  9. I would support you in whatever decision you make. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this again. We are all here for you.

  10. honestly, you're the only one that knows you best. It's a difficult decision, regardless. I know it's not easy. =(

  11. I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you.

    I had methotrexate for my first ectopic. I don't see how anyone could not respect your decision, you have to do what is right for you and your body. Big hugs, I just wish there was something I could do.

  12. I am sorry. Hang in there hun.

  13. no judgment here. I hope all goes well. I hate to see you going through this at all. Sucks!