Tuesday, July 28, 2009

On Hold

I'm in a holding pattern for this upcoming IVF cycle.


It appears that M. will have to travel right during the estimated window for our egg retrieval and transfer. He can't get out of it, and I sure can't do this without him.

I've been crying since Friday night.

We're now looking at starting Lupron at the end of September. My mind knows that it's only a month and for goodness sakes we've been waiting for #2 for almost 4 years, what's another month in the grand scheme of things?

But my heart?

It doesn't want to wait. And it won't listen to my mind rationalizing how this is okay. I'll have more time to lose a little more weight. More time to cut out caffeine and alcohol. More time to prepare.

Patience is not a strong suit of mine.


  1. Well crap. I'm so sorry. Waiting, no matter how long or short you can rationalize it out to be, SUCKS. (((HUGS)))

  2. oh sweetie.. I am so sorry. Listen, I am the Queen of "Hurry Up and Wait", so I do understand how upset you are. It took me a whole year for the stars and moon to align to cycle!!

    Hang in there. You can do it. Take advantage of the downtime... (hugs)

  3. I'm so sorry you are having to wait. I know what you're going through. Our embryo transfer was transfered two months. You're right that in the grand scheme of things, two months isn't that long, but I completely understand how frustrating it can be. Hang in there.

  4. Well crap. Can I sit and hold your hand while you wait?

  5. man alive! That stinks!! Is there any way you can plan something fun just for you in august then? I know it won't be the same as ivf, but something you have to look forward to??

    gah, i'm trying to ignore this months cancellation and then i think, it's been almost 2 yrs of trying for #2 what's another month, but yeah, when you actually had hope growing somewhere, it's hard to just take it.


  6. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I am so sorry. What a kick in b@lls. Blech. When my my IVF got postponed b/c of a cycst--i cried into my hands in the parking lot of our RE. OMG i am almost teary eyed thinking about it. i am so, so, sorry. Fvck.

  7. OH I HATE THAT FOR YOU! I also had my IVF postponed for 6 weeks due to a bastard cyst and I was hysterical for the better part of a week. Our hearts have been waiting so long and it IS hard to wait and it IS okay to be angry about it.

    I am so sorry. My DH was gone for all my monitoring which sucked but yep, he needs to be there to contribute at the end. BUMMER. I am thinking of you all the time, and hoping the month absolutely FLIES.


  8. Oh man, I'm sorry you have to wait! Does that mean you have to wait an extra month to try again?

    I just stumbled upon your TTC blog while looking for others going through the same thing as I am! Would you mind if I followed you, and you could follow my blog too!

  9. I'm so sorry. That really sucks! Big time!!

  10. Oh, my friend. I am so sorry. When you're ready to go, you're ready to go- even if it's a very good reason, it still sucks to have your engine revved up only to be told to hold off a bit longer. So sorry. I know that ever since I made the decision to move forward with an RE, I've been wishing I could just get going. I know there are lots of diagnostic procedures to do still before we even get close to a treatment plan, but I am sick of waiting, too. I just want to move forward, and it doesn't feel that I'm moving that way yet. Logically, I understand why, but my heart is just leaping at it's bounds to MOVE. Give me a few months and I guarantee I'll feel very differently, but for now, that's the way I think.

    I wish there was more I could do, but for now, just know that I'm abiding with you.

  11. I've been there...waiting is the absolute worst. Sorry. :-(