Tuesday, September 9, 2008

No Tears Shed

The first day went well.


She didn't cry. Amazingly, I didn't either.

As M. and I were standing with her in the hall, waiting for the teacher to open the door I started to feel a little panic rising up. All the other kids and their parents were there, milling about. I wasn't prepared to feel judged. (Honestly, I'm sure I wasn't being judged, but the little voices in the back of my mind tend to over exaggerate) Many of the parents had little siblings with them. My mind kept thinking, "She's an only child. How will she relate to these kids!?!" I realized in that tiny hall that SO much is out of my control now. I won't be there to see how she interacts, to help her if she's scared, to pick her up if she falls down. It's out of my hands.

M. took me out to my favorite Italian restaurant for lunch after we dropped Miss O. off. I had a delicious eggplant parm, and a glass of wine. I will admit, it was nice to eat a meal without trying to entertain a little one at the same time.

When we picked her up, she said, "I had a good day."


  1. oh, I know that feeling, that stomach-twisting knot of fear when you realize that you can't be there to protect your little one ... it hit me when kiddo started Kindergarten last year, but the teacher was very open and communicative so it really wasn't so bad. It was much worse this year when he stared 1st grade - I guess the teacher just assumes that all us parents are used to this by now, but her lack of communicativeness (especially compared to last year's teacher) isn't helping relieve my fears much.

    Miss O. looks so adorable! I KNOW you two will do fine this year. :)

  2. Oh what a huge step for both of you. Congratulation for making it through the day ..AND a meal w/o a little one

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  4. Thanks for visiting my blog last month. Sorry it has taken me this long to visit your blog.

    Miss O's just so cute and she's such an independant kid. You must be so proud of her.

  5. Hello, just found your blog... We have a lot in common... My dd is also 2 (will be 3 in Dec) and just started preschool this fall. TEARS. We have been trying for #2 for over a year and I only have one ovary & one tube, due to a tumor when I was 16.

    It is so hard to see other parents with more then one child, I get upset. When we gi filled out the paper work for preschool, one of the questions was, sibling names and ages. I broken down crying. Your not alone.