Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Cycle Day 1

Cycle day one is a day of mixed emotions for me.

I always feel so defeated on cycle day 1, yet I never feel like crying. I'm angry, but at the same time I find myself looking towards hope. Hope that this new cycle will end the way I want it to.


M. and I had a LONG discussion on what to do now.

Since changing shifts, I can't seem to find a way to attend my acupuncture appointments. She's only in my town 2 days a week, and only from 12:30p to 6pm. I'm working now from 10-6, so our schedules do not jive at all. And she wants me to continue temping.

I'm tired of temping.

M. is tired of me temping. He thinks it causes me undue stress. It probably doesn't help that when I'm temping & charting I over analyze EVERYTHING. Plus, I tend to have beautiful charts that always end the same stinking way. In a BFN. And every month, M. hears me say how she thinks I'm definitely pregnant, due to my chart. Ugh.

So, I think I fired her yesterday via email. Call me a coward if you must, but I didn't know how to call her up and say, "Yeah, I'm not going to see you anymore. Plus my hubby thinks you're a fraud."

Our new plan is to go on a break. You know, try to have a baby the old fashioned way. It probably won't work, but quite frankly, I'm tired of temping, of ovulation predictor kits, and timed s.ex. I want a break.

I need a break.

If nothing happens by March 2009, we'll head back to the RE, and probably get ready to take on IVF.

1 comment:

  1. temping sucks! i stopped, it was hard but a fantastic decision. you don't have to hold out hope, i will for you. and, um, it does happen the old fashioned way. i happen to know. : )