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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Fear

After 3 days of stimming, injecting myself with 225 iu's of folli.stim, I headed into Dr. Hope's office for blood work and an ultrasound.

He, of course, warned me that it's early and we might not see much.

And we didn't.

I think he found and measured one follicle. ONE.

The rational part of my mind tells me it's early, not to worry, trust that I just need to be patient. I wish that voice could drown out the one that is blaring through my head. The one that is screaming, "You're not responding!"

I just want to cry.
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9 comments:

  1. ..alOctober 22, 2009 at 10:03 AM

    Shit. I hope that is not the case.

    Even if it may be, does your endocrinologist have a Plan B?

    All the best!

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  2. ShelliOctober 22, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    Ugh.

    I know your heart is in your mouth. I'm assuming they are waiting for the bloodwork to come back, and maybe pump up the dose?

    I know this is a crap place to be in. Your next scan will tell the tale. If there are follies hiding they should see them then. ((hugs))

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  3. CarrieOctober 22, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    Aww, that is no good, but I believe in your follicles! You could just be a slow responder who needs an extra couple of days.

    But I am sure you are terrified. I was, constantly. Each stim check my husband would say, "that went GREAT!" and I'd always have a reason to be worried. (Surprised?)

    This journey and process are so hard. Hang in there and I am thinking of you all the time!

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  4. Melis.saOctober 22, 2009 at 2:22 PM

    ((HUG)) When is your next scan? I hope they bump up the follistim and that your next appointment is amazing.

    Thinking of you

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  5. TracyOctober 22, 2009 at 2:23 PM

    its early! its early! its early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    there. I just felt like you needed to hear it again. :)

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  6. KOctober 22, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    kmfc that you will see lots of follie snext time

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  7. RebeccaOctober 23, 2009 at 8:30 AM

    Oh hon! I'm sorry!!! I'm going to be optimistic and blow some sunshine up your bottom here: I agree...it's EARLY. Only three days of stimming. I know it's a kick in the gut, though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sending lots of follie growing thoughts to you!!!

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  8. aimeemaxOctober 23, 2009 at 8:48 AM

    That's not the result you want from a scan, that's for sure. But like the others have said, it's early days yet and there's plenty of time for more follies to grow.

    ((hugs))

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  9. AnxiousMummyto3October 24, 2009 at 4:42 AM

    Hey sweetie,
    I have to agree with everyone else, it's waaaay too soon to lose hope. Hang in there!!!

    ReplyDelete

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