The last two weeks, Miss O. has been going through a phase that includes some new attitude I haven't seen in her before. I think it's a combination of her testing limits, trying out some independence, and being around the older kids at daycare. For the most part, I don't mind, it's pretty innocent and she snaps out of it pretty quick, except for one new phrase that just sets me over the edge.
"This is the worst day, ever!", usually accompanied by a foot stomp and whining.
I can NOT stand to hear that phrase out of her mouth. Why? I don't exactly know. I think it's a combination that it is uttered after I've told her that she can't do something, and it is always delivered dramatically. To the point that it just makes my blood boil.
Poor M. walked in the door from work one night last week, only to find Miss O. crying on the couch in time-out, and me, in a heap on the kitchen floor, crying. All because I didn't let her carry the jug of juice in from the car. That's why it was the WORST day ever.
I've been trying to figure out why this bothers me so much, almost every day since last week. Obviously, as an adult, I know that it's not the worst day ever, and that a five year old has a hard time seeing into the future. The rational side of my mind tells me that it's just a phase she's going through and this, too, will pass. The crazy mom side of my brain is pointing a finger at me saying, "You know she's selfish because she's an only child!"
As much as I try to quiet that voice in my head, I swear it gets louder. And throws many more things at me to feel bad about. Mommy guilt is an awful thing, because once it starts, I swear it picks up speed like a ball rolling down a hill, going faster and faster. I already wince on the inside, if at a play date, Miss O. grabs a toy from another child or doesn't share well.
The paranoia starts to set in.
In my darkest moments, I feel that other parents look at the fact that I only have Miss O. and think that M. and I are selfish for only having ONE child. That she's destined to be self-centered, spoiled, and a loner. Thank goodness these days are few and far between.
On better days, I look at my beautiful daughter, who will be entering kindergarten in the fall, and I think, "Maybe a family of three will be just fine."