Uh, Yeah...

I guess I have to throw in the towel for NaBloPoMo.

After all, I've missed 4 days of posting now.

It all started Friday night, when I couldn't keep my eyes open on the couch around 8 o'clock. M. couldn't either, so we were ALL in bed by 9pm that night. What a far cry from our old Friday nights!

Saturday was full of visitors to our home, so I couldn't break away for a quick post.

By Sunday, I knew it was a lost cause, and decided to just take a technology break and enjoy having M. home for the weekend. His job involves a building full of retail spaces, so as of this Friday until Christmas, I won't be seeing much of him at all!

I'm disappointed, but only a little. I did post for 18 days straight, which is a LOT more than I've posted in a few months. It helped me carve out a little "me" time, even if it was only 15 minutes out of my day. Now I remember why I started blogging and hope to continue to post on a more regular basis, even if I can't make it happen everyday.

So, how was your weekend?

Failing

I've always thought of myself as a great multi-tasker.

One thing I've learned from trying to do NaBloPoMo and take care of infant twins is that I'm not as good at it as I thought I was. I've managed to post everyday so far for NaBloPoMo, but I have not been able to stay caught up on the blogs I like to read!

My reader just keeps growing and growing....

I promise I'll catch up soon!

Losing Battle

I need to lose weight.

No kidding, you're probably thinking, you did just have 2 babies, after all.

The problem is I was pretty overweight when I finally conceived the twins. Four years of trying to conceive a sticky pregnancy, five losses, and numerous rounds of infertility drugs had packed on a good 50 pounds onto my frame.

As of right now, I've lost all the weight I put on while pregnant with the twins, plus 3 pounds. I'm super happy about that, as it's about 58 pounds that are gone! Sadly, most of my pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit, as I've got quite a bit of toning that needs to be done.

My new goal is to lose another 50 pounds.

I was loosely following the we.ight wa.tchers for breastfeeding mom's plan. Loosely, because it's for breastfeeding one baby, not two! The weight was coming off at a safe rate, roughly 1 to 2 pounds a week for the last 8 weeks.

Over the last 2 weeks, though, it seems that my milk supply is starting to wane...

I don't want to gain weight, but I sure don't want to risk losing my supply!

Anyone have any suggestions for how to keep my supply up, but still lose weight? Is it even possible or am I fighting a losing battle?

Almost Forgetting

I can't believe I went through the day almost forgetting the importance of today.,..

Last year, on this day, my life changed forever.

I was excited, happy, and scared to death.

For weeks, I held my breath, waiting for the worst to happen.

It's still hard to believe that my dream came true.

I'm so thankful that it did.

4 Months

Hard to believe it's been four months since my life became a whole lot busier!

Pretty Girl is now 23.5 inches long and weighs in at 12 pounds, 8 ounces. She's still working very hard at trying to roll over and has started to laugh. At night, she gets up once to eat, but I'm up every few hours putting a "Binky" back into her mouth. She thinks Miss O. is the best thing since sliced bread! When she's in the room, Pretty Girl will look at nothing else and is all smiles...she loves her big sis!

Big Boy is also 23.5 inches long and weighs 10 pounds, 7 ounces. He's my little peanut! His head control has improved immensely over the last month, but he still hates tummy time. For a little guy, he downs his bottles quickly...and lets you know when he's hungry, you better have that bottle ready to go! I love to hear him laugh, it's this really deep belly laugh combined with his gummy grin. Big Boy is also grabbing at toys, and enjoys just playing with your fingers, too.

*sigh*

It's been both the hardest and most rewarding four months of my life.

I can't wait to see what changes the next month will bring!

Weekend Recap

This weekend flew by!


Somehow, someway, I managed to get everything done for my little sis's shower. The theme was an ocean party. We came up with the theme from her bedding, which is blue with lots of cute little ocean creatures on it. I loved the colors of pinks, blues, and oranges! Considering the baby's gender will be a surprise, I think it worked out nicely.


Friday morning was crazy with finishing up last minute things, taking the twins to the doctor for their 4 month check up and getting on the road at a decent hour.


I'm so lucky that my cousin still lives back home and helped with a lot of the details there. We spent the night at her house Friday, and she helped me finish up the favors. We dipped the sugar cookies I baked into royal icing and added the handmade tags.

A first for me was making a NON-edible cake! I tried my hand at a diaper cake.

For my first one, I was pretty happy with how it turned out.


The menu included different soups, breads, fruits, and snacks.

This was a bowl of "fish food"...it had popcorn, M&M's, and 2 kinds of goldfish in there!


Everyone seemed to have a great time, and she received a lot of really nice gifts.

One month to go, and I'll be a proud aunt!

Home

Shower went well.

I'm exhausted.

Pictures tomorrow.

Travelin' Fools

We've left town on a whirlwind trip home for my sister's shower...

Miss O., Pretty Girl, and Big Boy traveled really well for the long car ride. I was surprised, considering the twins had their 4 month check up this morning, complete with shots!

Hopefully, everyone will travel just as well home tomorrow!

Any Takers?

Only 50 cents for a picture...proceeds to benefit the diaper fund! ;)

I Think I'm Crazy

No, I know I'm crazy.

Why did I think that I could plan a baby shower for my sister while caring for infant twins???

I spent today trying to figure out and create thank you tags for the favors. I also created a diaper cake.

Still on the to do list?

Baking sugar cookies, decorating the cookies, making soup, and packing up so that we can all leave town Friday night.

I am definitely crazy.

Almost There

Pretty Girl is on a mission these days.

Operation "Must. Rollover. NOW." is in full effect.

Unfortunately for her, she hasn't succeeded yet. Whenever she's on her back, she begins arching and swinging her legs. It doesn't matter if she's in her crib, on the floor, or up on the changing table waiting for a diaper change.

She's so close, but her one arm keeps blocking her from success.

When she's on the floor, she tries repeatedly over and over again. This leads to her just turning clockwise around the blanket. I'm surprised that she doesn't get frustrated, just keeps on trying. My bet is that by the end of the week, she'll have it down and be rolling over when she wants.

She's a determined little girl.

Trying...

...but failing miserably.

I want to exercise, really I do.

It's been over a year since I've stepped into a gym. I was sidelined during our cycle last year as a precaution. Once we got our positive test, I was discouraged for the first 12 weeks because of my history of pregnancy loss.

At 12 weeks, my OB said I could swim or walk slowly, but to really watch my heart rate and be smart about it.

Honestly, I was so happy to make it to 12 weeks, exercise really wasn't high on my list. I did take evening walks at least 3 times a week, but I didn't want to push it.

Once May hit, bed rest started and that was the end of the small amount of exercise I was doing.

In September, at my 6 week postpartum appointment, I was cleared to resume all activities...including exercise.

I've yet to do it.

All kinds of excuses have popped into my head. "The babies aren't on a schedule yet.", "I don't have time." "Sleep ranks higher, right now." "I don't want to leave the babies in childcare.", "I'm exhausted."

The truth is I'm scared.

Even with 57 pounds gone from my frame, hardly any of my pre-baby clothes fit. The baby weight may be gone, but my body is VERY different. I need to go, because I really miss the mental lift I would get from exercising.

*sigh*

Maybe tomorrow.

Play Time

Snow!?!

It didn't stick, but still...

It's only the beginning of November.

I'm NOT ready for the white stuff!

Weekend Plans

It's Friday!

One day closer to Sunday, which means a trip to the big city and I.K.E.A. Woo-hoo!

Nothing makes me happier than walking around that super large store, telling myself that I could reconstruct those rooms in MY house. It'll be a trip full of looking, with little buying, but I really need a couple more banana baskets for my entertainment center and some picture frames for the babies' room.

I've been looking for simple white or natural wood frames for over 2 months. The idea is 3 frames above each crib, with pictures of the little ones. I just can't seem to find what I want at a price I'm willing to pay.

Please, I.K.E.A, don't let me down...

Do you have any big plans for the weekend?

Show & Tell : Date Night

Last Saturday night, M. and I had the opportunity to actually go out for a few hours without the kids!


It was the first time since May, when we went away for our anniversary. M. didn't get off work until 8 that night, so his parents came over to our house because everyone should have been in bed. This was a big step, usually we take Miss O. to them, plus we added 2 babies!


So, where did we go?


A romantic dinner?


Catch a movie?


Out for coffee & conversation?


No, none of the above...


As we left our home, THIS is what we looked like:

Yup, Bert & Ernie!

Not very romantic, but we headed out to a small costume party for a few hours.


I felt like Cinderella with a midnight curfew, but I had a great time mingling with former co-workers and catching up with friends.


Hopefully, we can have another "date night" soon!


Oh, since you've seen the twins in their costumes and now M. and I, here's Miss O.

My Tinkerbell

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Want to play? See what others are showing here.

Tears & Yawns

Tears, cries, sobbing.

That was what you would have seen last night if you peeked into the windows at Not The Path I Chose.

Some of the tears shed were from the babies, but most of them were mine...

The twins usually wake up at least once a night to eat. Pretty Girl got up first, nursed for a good 30 minutes and went right back down. Shortly after, Big Boy started snorting. When he's hungry, between cries, he'll snort.

Loudly.

It's the funniest thing, him sounding like a baby pig!

So, I brought him in and he started to nurse. Even though he's bottle fed during the day, we've managed to continue to nurse at night. I really enjoyed this time with him, and it took the sting away about not breastfeeding him exclusively.

After 30 minutes, he fell back asleep and I placed him back in the crib next to Pretty Girl.

That's when I smelled it.

Poop.

As I picked Pretty Girl up, the scent got stronger. We went over to the changing table and as I started to change her, my half asleep mind snapped to attention as I realized it was a blow-out.

I had to change her AND the bed.

If this wasn't bad enough at 3 am, Big Boy wakes back up and starts to scream, then snort alternately. No matter how hard I try to calm him down, he wouldn't. I finally break down, head downstairs and make a bottle.

He sucked down the 4 ounces like he hadn't ate in hours. That's when my tears started.

I'm pretty sure our nursing days are done.

After nursing for 30 minutes, Big Boy should not eat a 4 ounce bottle...something isn't working. I'm sad to lose this special time with him, but I recognize that I've got to do what works best for him.

So, I'll continue to pump as much as I can to supplement his bottles.

This shouldn't bother me this badly. I'm still exclusively breast feeding Pretty Girl.

I think that's the problem.

My heart feels badly that I can't make it work for both of them. My subconscious is beating me up. That I'm giving her something, while robbing him of something.

All those thoughts that grow exponentially with a lack of sleep. Things always seem worse when you need zzz's.

Yawn.

I'm going to try to push those thoughts to the back of my mind, at least until I get a nap.

Wish me luck.

Setting My Mind To It

Since the twins were born, finding time to do anything that I enjoy has definitely gone to the back burner.

Rightfully so, the way it should have.

Now that they are nearing the 4 month mark, and are starting to fall into some patterns and, dare I say it, somewhat of a schedule...it's time for me to claim at least a small sliver of "me" time back.

I've missed blogging.

I miss reading and commenting on other blogs.

I miss spewing my thoughts out onto the keyboard.

That's where NaBloPoMo comes in.



I'm accepting Suzy's challenge, and I'm going to post everyday for the next 30 days.

My hope is that this will help me feel a little more like "me" these days.

Help me find my writing mojo again and give me a reason to go back over all the drafts I have, clean them up and hit publish.

Won't you join us?

One Year Later

Then...






And now...