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Friday, May 14, 2010

More Thoughts and 30 Weeks

To Work or NOT to work, continued....

As I expected, I got a wide range of comments to my last post, which is exactly what I wanted.

Some of you gave me great, valid points that I hadn't even thought about.

Best of all, it didn't become a debate over which was better!

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When we found out we were carrying twins, I immediately figured that working full time would be done. M. felt the same.

There are really 2 things holding me back from saying I'm definitely done after the babies come.

One is health insurance.

We are currently on my insurance plan. M.'s costs more and has a higher deductible. Of course, with mine changing on June 1st....it remains to be seen who's really is better.

The second is fear.

Capital F-E-A-R.

What if I don't end up end with 2 babies?

(After seeing that down in writing, I realize it looks ridiculous...)

Honestly, though, I still struggle with horrible, morbid thoughts.

I guess that's what struggling for over 4 years and losing 5 pregnancies will do to you.

Over the entire time, we tried to conceive these babies, I often felt relief that I did return to work after having Miss O. I don't know how I would have not gone crazy from obsessing about a sibling, if I hadn't at least been distracted sometimes with work.

Ultimately, I think we can pull it off, if I don't want to return. We already shop pretty smart, and try to live off M.'s income for the most part.

Ever since I took a 25% pay cut 3 years ago to keep a job, we've really just used my income for extras. A trip here, home improvements, and of course, IF treatments.

Will we have to make changes? Absolutely.

Will we survive? Yes.

No answer for today, but I do feel a little better about the whole thing.

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30 weeks today.

*happy dance*

Appointment and ultrasound on Monday.

10 comments:

  1. I like working, but don't feel like I can do it all well. I'm at a crossroads and not sure what we'll be doing, but after a year away from work I feel pretty confident that I can find ways to maintain my skills and identity without working fulltime.

    Good luck and congratulaitons!

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  2. Yeah for 30 weeks!! I think you'll only be able to make a real decision after the babies come to be honest. Thanks so much for your support on my blog, pet! Fran

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  3. I couldn't imagine working with twins and a toddler. Holy moly. :) I am only working about 8 hours a week from home, sometimes more, sometimes less.

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  4. Yay for 30 weeks!

    Yea, the insurance was definitely a factor for us. It's amazing the cost difference for adding the twins between the two of our plans.

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  5. Yay for 30 weeks!

    You have time before you have to make a decision *hugs*

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  6. Doing the happy dance with you! 30 weeks!! YAY!!!

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  7. YAY for 30 weeks. Hope the u/s went well.

    Keep those crazy thoughts out of your head missy.

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  8. You're in the home stretch! No matter what happens, those babies will be loved and cherish:-)

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