Weighty Issues

Weight.

It is my nemesis.

Growing up I was extremely active. I swam competitively from the age of 5 until my sophomore year in college. I also played softball and soccer, you know, a three sports a year athlete. Looking back, I was very fit. But at the time, I always thought I could stand to lose 20 pounds.

What I wouldn't give to be the size I was in high school...

Reality is I've tried every diet in the book. Cabbage soup, weight watchers, Atkins, Slim Fast, South Beach, you name it, I've probably tried it. I lose some weight, I gain it and then some back. I'm a classic yo-yo dieter.

When we conceived Miss O. I was almost 20 pounds heavier than I am now, and gained at least 50 pounds during my pregnancy. I'm not even sure how much I actually weighed when I delivered, because a month out from my due date, I stopped looking at the scale at my appointments. After her, I lost the baby weight pretty quick (thank you, breastfeeding!) but then I stopped BF, but I didn't stop eating like I was BFing. Before I knew it I was almost as heavy as when I gave birth. After 8 months of counting points and learning to exercise, I was 70 lighter by the time Miss O. was almost 3 years old.

I felt good. I felt healthy. I was ready to have another baby.

That fall I got pregnant.

It wasn't meant to be. I gained about 15 pounds back after the first ectopic. Almost another year went by and we conceived again. Another loss. Another 10 pounds. A few months later, yet another loss. Add another 5 pounds. I've been trying to get these 30 pounds back off my frame for almost 2 years now. I lose 5, maybe 10 if I'm lucky, but as quick as I lose it, it comes back.

This last pregnancy brought with it 12 pounds. And a number on the scale I haven't seen since I conceived Miss O.

I decided that enough was enough.

If M. and I are going to take the plunge and do an IVF cycle, I need to give it the best shot to succeed. In April, even before I was officially "un"pregnant, but we knew we weren't bringing a baby home I walked into a Weight Watchers center. I figured that we aren't able to cycle for at least 2 months because of the methotrexate I had to receive, so why not try to get some weight off?

Tonight was my 8th weigh in.

I hit my 5% goal and have lost 13.2 pounds so far. I have a LONG way to go, but something is clicking this time. I have lost some weight every week. My clothes are fitting much better. I'm amazed. And M. is calling me "biggest loser"...which I think is sweet.

No matter what the outcome in August, at least I'll know I tried to prepare my body.