Tuesday, November 18, 2008

First Snow

I awoke this morning to find my world blanketed in a layer of fresh white snow. The kind of snow that sticks to everything, and makes everything beautiful.

A fresh start.

Of course, by this afternoon, the snow on the roads will have started to melt. The ugly, brown slush will appear and the beauty of the snow will be tarnished.

Much like what happens as you realize that you are struggling to conceive.

At first, the idea of having a baby is a beautiful thing. You gleefully throw away your pills, and caution to the wind. You laugh with your husband and giggle about how much "fun" it is to try.

But as months and months go by and those two lines fail to appear, a little bit of the "fun" starts to wear off. You suffer through countless announcements of pregnancies and baby showers. It seems that everyone *but* you is pregnant. Many tears will be shed, and possible fights begin between your loved one...all because you're NOT pregnant.

Yet, because of a four letter word, that begins with a "H"...every month is like a new snow. H-O-P-E, hope. Hope allows you to pull up your boot straps and get back on that horse. To *try* again. To soldier on. To not give up.



  1. We must have hope. You are right. Just a thought, has your husband had a sample analyzed lately? (Sorry if this is meddling.)

  2. Hillary~

    You are not meddling at all!

    Last sample was in March...and quoting my RE to my husband, "You have super-sperm."

    But things do change, hmm.

  3. i know it is hard. you know, you don't have to hope, i certainly had lost all hope long before it happened.

  4. Great analogy and post!
    Here via ICLW.

  5. I LOVE snow. That first covering snow of the year is always the most magical. I can't wait for it this year.

    I remember the announcements, the showers, the torture. I started to lose hope. Now I try to be so careful not to hurt anyone with my good fortune.

  6. Very well said. Thanks for that. I'm continuing to hope.


  7. Hope is everywhere and every body has it. It just takes awhile to see it again, sometimes. It's when your friends and family let you lean on them for a good cry when you see it again, for me anyway. I love the snow and hope analogy! It's so beautiful to think of hope as a white pure blanket of snow.
    Enjoy your day!
    -D *ICLW*

  8. I had just about thrown hope out the window ...and ended up with a BFP on a whimsical clomid cycle. Here's hoping you get the peace you need to try again..