Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Laying Low

Ever feel like your perpetually in slow motion?

Or that there is a weight on your chest that makes even getting out of bed a chore?

How about looking at your life, feeling like there is gauze covering your eyes?

That's how I've felt the last few days.

And you know what's sad? In the grand scheme of my life, what I'm going through right now really isn't that bad. Yes, I've lost another pregnancy. I'm being inconvenienced with weekly blood draws, which are just a reminder of my loss. Frustration is cursing through my veins, as I feel like nobody in real life "gets" it. On the other hand, I have M., who is my rock and Miss O., who always makes me smile.

But I just can't seem to shake the gloomies away.


Please head over and give some love to Hillary from Dan & Hillary and little Russell.

They are in the midst of a very scary time and could use some support. Doctors are concerned that she has a 'cornual pregnancy', which is a very dangerous situation for this Momma!


  1. Oh, you are so entitled to feeling gloomy! Don't rush yourself, if you can. I can't imagine how entirely frustrated and sad you are, and I know how hard it is to parent presently in the aftermath of a miscarriage. It is so hard to be mourning a loss, while trying to hold it together for those around you.

    I am wishing you much peace and a calm space to just be. We "get" it... and I am sending big hugs to you, as ever.


  2. I'm so sorry.. constant losses will make you feel pretty crappy. I wish there was something I could do. *hugs*

  3. Let yourself feel what you're feeling. It is a grieving process so take your time! *HUGS*

    I've had two miscarriages and I hope to plant something to memorialize them soon. We also named them because to us they were our babies, born or not.

    I'm so sorry you're feeling gloomy right now!

  4. It must be tough, hang in there you are almost past this. Love ya' sis!

  5. I agree with the others: you can feel gloomy! its okay!

  6. you can't rush how you feel. What you went through sucked!! you're allowed to feel gloomy.

    I hope something joyful happens to you soon.

    Sending many hugs!!

  7. assvice-- thalia told me too "let myself mourn" during my RPL. so, in the mornings i would let myself think about it, mourn and cry into my hands. for 30 mins.
    then i would put it awsy until the next morning. when those fears crept up during the day, i would remind myself that it wasn't the right time and that the next morning would be.

  8. I'm so sorry for the continuing gloom. It is very understandable and normal, and I agree with the others that you should give yourself permission to feel it. Here's hoping the fog lifts soon.