My day started with a few tears, I couldn't help it.Sometimes it just feels good to cry.
Especially when you're remembering someone who left the world far too soon.Seven years ago today my Mother lost her battle with ovarian cancer.In some ways, it's hard to believe it's been that long...other days the hurt feels so fresh, like she just died.Every time I looked at Miss O. and the twins today, I teared up.She would have been a wonderful grandmother and would have spoiled them all rotten. I watched her love on my numerous younger cousins for years...even being called Mommy Kar.en by some, instead of aunt. She loved holding babies, loving on them. Even her profession included holding babies, as she was an OB nurse. She looked forward to being a grandmother, yet never got a chance to experience it.Mom died four days after my baby shower when I was pregnant with Miss O.Today, I cry, but I also think about all the lessons she taught me, the memories, and the laughter we shared.I'm the "mom" I am because of the "mom" she was to me.
It's December 12th.How?As the twins grew older and I got a little more sleep, I thought I'd start to get a routine down. Find a *little* time for me...at least know what day it is! I swear I'm still losing days at a time.I've got a few minutes to type, so I'm going to try and update what's been going on here.Here's the down and dirty, quick version...Thanksgiving was wonderful. We traveled North to my aunt's house where we gathered and celebrated with my mother's family. At last count, there were 40 of us there for dinner. Two turkeys, a bucket of mashed potatoes, and 6 pies later, everyone was full and happy. Many times during the day I thought about how thankful I was that the twins were here and everyone was enjoying them.I'm an aunt to a nephew! My little sister gave birth on December 2nd to a very healthy little boy, a true miracle baby. All the tears I shed worrying she'd get pregnant before me and then the guilt for feeling that way once she and her hubby started to struggle became distant memories the moment I held him in my arms. Being just under 5 months younger than the twins, I'm sure they'll be great playmates in a few years!Miss O. has been crazy busy with preparing and practicing for a holiday ice show. My little gumdrop is participating in a version of the Nutcracker on ice. Last night was the first performance, and I felt WAY out of my element in the locker room trying to get her ready. I didn't realize what a "club" this was! It probably didn't help that the twins and their stroller took up half the locker room space...we didn't have glitter spray, I didn't have her hair done the right way and over all was just lost. A few of the glances I saw directed at us were pure exasperation! Oh well, live and learn. I'm glad that it's over...at least for a year.There is yet to be a Christmas decoration up in my household. By this time of the month, I usually have at least 3 trees up, my village, and the stockings hung. I just don't have time to even get down to the basement to get the decorations upstairs...And don't even ask how the shopping is going!Big Boy has found his feet. It's hilarious to watch him grab and talk to them, if I leave them uncovered. It seems that if he can't see his toes, they don't exist! LOL. Pretty Girl has mastered rolling over and loves the exer.saucer. I can't believe they'll be 5 months old tomorrow.So, that's my quickie update. What's going on with you? Are you ready for the holidays?
Opened my go.ogle reader the other day...365 unread posts.365.One for each day of a year.Wow.I seem to fallen way behind on reading, commenting and posting. The last 2 weeks have been tough. I'm afraid with the holidays coming it's only going to get worse. My email is filled with emails that I should respond to. It's not only with the computer, it's every thing in life. I currently have 6 messages on my answering machine that have yet to listen to. I feel perpetually behind.If it doesn't have to do with the babies or Miss O. it just gets thrown to the back burner.And that's okay.They will only be little once. I want to soak in all the memories, so that I can remember them forever.
Where do the days go?Considering I'm back into a lack of sleep haze, thanks to the twins learning to roll over, who knows?On Thanksgiving, Pretty Girl finally figured out how to roll. Two days later, Big Boy mastered it, too. They roll every time you put them on their back. Every time. So, just like that, we stopped swaddling them at night. Add in a little bit of teething, as their fingers are in their mouths non-stop and we've got the perfect storm for not sleeping at night.I find myself quoting Dory from Dis.ney's film, "Finding Ne.mo" every few hours as a pep talk."Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming."The sleepless nights won't last forever, but when you're in the midst of them, it sure seems like they will. I'm just trying to get through the days, and hoping this will pass quickly.I need another cup of coffee.
I guess I have to throw in the towel for NaBloPoMo.After all, I've missed 4 days of posting now.It all started Friday night, when I couldn't keep my eyes open on the couch around 8 o'clock. M. couldn't either, so we were ALL in bed by 9pm that night. What a far cry from our old Friday nights!Saturday was full of visitors to our home, so I couldn't break away for a quick post.By Sunday, I knew it was a lost cause, and decided to just take a technology break and enjoy having M. home for the weekend. His job involves a building full of retail spaces, so as of this Friday until Christmas, I won't be seeing much of him at all!I'm disappointed, but only a little. I did post for 18 days straight, which is a LOT more than I've posted in a few months. It helped me carve out a little "me" time, even if it was only 15 minutes out of my day. Now I remember why I started blogging and hope to continue to post on a more regular basis, even if I can't make it happen everyday.So, how was your weekend?
I've always thought of myself as a great multi-tasker.One thing I've learned from trying to do NaBloPoMo and take care of infant twins is that I'm not as good at it as I thought I was. I've managed to post everyday so far for NaBloPoMo, but I have not been able to stay caught up on the blogs I like to read!My reader just keeps growing and growing....I promise I'll catch up soon!
I need to lose weight.No kidding, you're probably thinking, you did just have 2 babies, after all.The problem is I was pretty overweight when I finally conceived the twins. Four years of trying to conceive a sticky pregnancy, five losses, and numerous rounds of infertility drugs had packed on a good 50 pounds onto my frame.As of right now, I've lost all the weight I put on while pregnant with the twins, plus 3 pounds. I'm super happy about that, as it's about 58 pounds that are gone! Sadly, most of my pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit, as I've got quite a bit of toning that needs to be done.My new goal is to lose another 50 pounds.I was loosely following the we.ight wa.tchers for breastfeeding mom's plan. Loosely, because it's for breastfeeding one baby, not two! The weight was coming off at a safe rate, roughly 1 to 2 pounds a week for the last 8 weeks. Over the last 2 weeks, though, it seems that my milk supply is starting to wane...I don't want to gain weight, but I sure don't want to risk losing my supply!Anyone have any suggestions for how to keep my supply up, but still lose weight? Is it even possible or am I fighting a losing battle?
