HSG Day

To move forward in our TTC journey, I had to undergo a HSG today.

It's the second time I've endured this procedure and frankly, it's not much fun. I started the day with a trip to the Y to work off some nervous energy, and then went into see Dr. Hope for cultures and a mock transfer.

The mock transfer was really easy. Basically they are testing your cervix for how to insert the catheter for the transfer procedure. It didn't really feel any different than my IUI, minus the pressure of the insemination. M. was in there with me, mostly for moral support, and because I like to have an extra set of ears when we talk to the RE.

From there, M. and I went down the street to another medical center for the HSG. Here, M. had to remain in the waiting room, as radiation is involved, so I was on my own. First step was being led to a small dressing room where they told me to strip from the waist down and gave me two paper robes to wear. I put one on in the front and one in the back to feel covered. Boy, are they noisy! Every little movement I made sounded like I was doing jumping jacks. I then had to hold my clothes and go sit in another waiting room with a bunch of other women. All, who I might add, were NOT naked from the waist down. My guess is that they were there for mammograms, as they all had their pants and shoes on, and were wearing nice cloth robes on top.

My name was called relatively quickly, thank goodness, and I was moved into the X-ray room. I had to lay down on the table and Dr. Hope tried to distract me from what he was doing down there with small talk. He did a pretty good job, but I have to be honest, the clamp he placed on my cervix hurt! After the catheter was in place, the radiologist entered the room and pulled the machine over my abdomen to take the pictures. They wheeled a small TV screen over, and I could see the image, while the pushed the dye and took the pictures. The first push of dye filled my uterus and started to go into my tubes. They didn't like what they saw, so Dr. Hope pushed some more dye in again. I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, but managed to hold it together. After a few more x-rays, he removed the catheter and told me to lay still. He returned to the room about 5 minutes later and actually showed me the x-ray films. The decision? My right tube is clear, and neither tube looks like it has any fluid in it! The news I wanted to hear!

After he left the room, the nurses asked me to sit up and swing my legs off the table, but not stand up. The one nurse asked me how I felt and I was honest saying, "I feel gross!" They both laughed and said, "Good answer, but are you dizzy?". When I said no, I was allowed to get up and go to the bathroom to clean up and get dressed again. Oh my goodness, I forgot how sticky the dye is! And thank goodness I remembered to bring my own pads.

Honestly, other than a few cramps here and there this afternoon, I feel okay. M. and I are to call the office in June to come in and set a timeline for our IVF cycle. We're aiming to cycle in August, after we go on vacation.

I'm just SO thankful that we don't have to remove my tube.

It Still Stings

You would think that after almost 4 years of struggling to conceive #2, that a flip remark from someone who is just an acquaintance could slide off your back.

It doesn't. Sometimes I wonder if it ever will...

Yesterday, we had a wonderful day. It started with a trip out to the local flea market, where M. and I searched for a trellis for Miss O.'s room. We ended up empty handed, when it came to the trellis, but I did manage to get some red peppers and asparagus.

We then headed to see Sesame Street Live. Miss O. enjoyed it, but sadly, I think it was probably the last year we'll see Elmo. About 15 minutes before the end of the show, she leaned over to me and said, "Can we go home now?".

Finally, we rounded out the day with a trip to the local home show. M. and I would like to create a patio in our backyard, and we thought we might get some ideas from the displays. This is where my day hit a speed bump. As we were walking through the aisles, we stopped to say hello to someone who used to work with both of us a few years back. As he looked at Miss O., he was surprised to see how big she had gotten. Then the line I dread the most was said, "Wow, she's so big, you need to start trying for another!"

(insert squealing breaks and uncomfortable silence)

Yeah, I think I muttered something like we were working on it. I just hate that something that was not meant to offend me, bothered me so much. That my whole demeanor was affected by a small remark. I'm embarrassed to say that it took away from my day.

You would think that after all this time, I'd be used to it.

Let's Talk Clutter

I live for the weekend.

The only problem with that? They fly by. Between cleaning up my house, which I really slack on during the week, and whatever I have planned, I never seem to have enough time. Not enough hours in the day, and I end up exhausted come Monday morning.

As the weather warms up, it gets worse. The nicer it is outside, the less I want to stay inside. That's okay, but that means housework gets pushed back even further. I joked with M. this morning that I've been waiting for the house to clean itself for a week now. Obviously, it's not going to clean itself, but wouldn't it be nice if it did?

Sometimes I wish that "Cle.an Hou.se" would show up at my door. I'm not that bad, but I sure could use the help! Organization has never been a strong suit of mine. I tend to make piles. And then piles move from room to room. Oh, and paperwork! I can't ever seem to make a dent in that pile. M. is just as guilty, as he never returns things to their proper places. It's taken me almost 7 years to get him to take dirty dishes to the sink!

For as much as I fit a Type A/first child stereotype, this is probably the only part of my personality that doesn't fit. And I just can't seem to figure out why. It frustrates me. I want to not have to worry about unexpected guests stopping by. I would love to be able to invite friends over at the drop of a hat, and not worry about having to clean. I love the feeling I get when I sit in a just cleaned, de-cluttered room...but I can't seem to keep it that way.

Any suggestions on keeping a clean, not just tidy home? Or on organizational skills?

For Real?

The old witch showed up here this morning!

I really wasn't expecting her so soon, but I'm NOT complaining.

Called the RE, and here's the plan. I head in tomorrow morning for bloodwork. HSG is scheduled for next Wednesday, along with cultures and mock transfer.

Wow. My head is spinning. I really didn't expect everything to move so fast.

Hold on, the ride is starting!

Off Week

I get an week off! Yay!

I'm so excited to NOT have to go to have blood drawn tomorrow morning.

You see, since my positive HPT last month, I've had my blood drawn over 20 times. My last hCG, on the 22nd came back at 19, down from 40 the week before. This means that I get to wait 2 WHOLE weeks before getting stuck again, wow! The veins in my poor arms are doing a happy dance.

Dr. Hope believes that when he redraws on May 6th, that the level will be back to zero. I can't even begin to tell you what that does for my mental status. I feel like a fog is lifting from my spirit, and I feel 15 pounds lighter.

Now, if I only WAS 15 pounds lighter!

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And I know you all have been waiting with bated breath for this...

The finished cake, please excuse the mess behind it...



Buttercream with fondant decorations...

Button, Button...

Who's got a button?

This is what has been consuming my week. My first paid cake gig. I've been working on it since Thursday night.

It's for a baby shower. Ironic, no?

Keeping The Faith

Promising. Heartening. Reassuring. Uplifting.

These four words describe how I feel after meeting with my RE this morning. I feel like I should give him a name now, because I know I'll be talking about him a lot. Hmm...I think Dr. Hope fits just right.

M. and I went in, expecting to hear that IVF will be the route for us, and we were right. After 45 minutes of me questioning the doctor, that is exactly what was decided. I think I might have overwhelming him with my knowledge of the procedure, considering this will be my first time sticking my toes into the IVF waters. I only have this wonderful community to thank for that...Well, and the need to fill my head with all kinds of usually useless information!

I was happy to hear that we will be re-running blood work, and that I will have an HSG after I get my period. Dr. Hope explained that if my remaining tube is swollen, or looks fully blocked, I'll return to my OB, to have the tube removed. He said that statistics show that a infected or swollen tube can significantly reduce the chances of an IVF cycle working, so it is best to remove the tube. This was probably the only piece of information that I didn't expect to hear, and it kind of rattled me for a few minutes. I mean, if I go in and have that tube removed, that's it. There will never be the chance of a spontaneous pregnancy again.

So, now we wait on my body.

Dr. Hope and his staff said that once the old witch shows, we can move rather quickly. I could be cycling as early as the end of JUNE! That's just crazy.

I'm ready to look forward and start this new journey towards bringing home a sibling for Miss O.