...or the best of both worlds.
Thursday's doctor appointment went just as I expected.
Pretty girl looks good, weighing in at just under 10 pounds.
Big Boy, not so much. He weighed in at 7 lbs., 5 oz., not even gaining a full pound in the last 6 weeks.
My doc was wonderful about the whole thing, explaining that perhaps he's burning off just as many calories trying to nurse as he's taking in. He also stated that after the first 2 months of breastfeeding, you've transferred all the good stuff to the babies. Now, it's just about calories, so that they can grow.
The decision was to have Big Boy start bottle feeding. I'm giving him 2 ounces of formula and 2 ounces of breast milk every 3 hours during the day. At night, I'm free to nurse him at demand. I'm not going to lie, I shed quite a few tears on Thursday.
That's the plan.
I'm pumping the side that he would have nursed on, trying to keep my supply up and build up my freezer stash again. I'd really like to be able to have enough breast milk to drop the formula at some point, so that's the goal I'm working towards right now.
So far, it's gone better than I expected. He takes a bottle very well and is done feeding within 15 minutes, unlike his 40 minute nursing marathons. I'm shocked at how much wetter his diapers are! He always had wet and dirty dipes, but now there is no doubt when he's peed. Overall, he's a happier baby, smiling and cooing more, too. (At first, this led to more Mommy guilt, but I'm working on it)
We'll head in on Thursday to have him weighed again.
You are doing an AMAZING job!! I can't imagine nursing twins! I wish you could see yourself as I see you and stop beating yourself up. Sending you lots of love and respect!!
ReplyDeleteI understand the disappointment, and I really like how you're working towards building a stash. Formula ISN'T a failure, though. It really isn't. Having a happy, thriving Big Boy is worth the worth.
ReplyDeleteHeather is right. You're doing a GREAT job. Hang in there, sweetie.
xoxo
uh, worth the WORK my comment should have said. Oops. :)
ReplyDeleteWay to go :) I'm glad you're finding what works for all of you!
ReplyDeleteI so understand what you are going through with the guilt. I continue to try everything but no matter what Addy has belly issues. I have yet to give formula but I feel it may be in my inevitable future. I have a ped appt Fri & a Gastro in 2 weeks. Hoping for something miraculous to happen before then.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. It is nice to know that others feel the same way & I'm not alone. I hope that you are able to stick with your plan & be confident that you are a GREAT mom.
Ahhh pet, I know it's hard, but set aside the guilt feeling and enjoy your cooing baby!
ReplyDeleteYou are a fantastic mom taking excellent care of your two little ones! Hang in there! We've all got your back!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you guys have something that's working for you now. I know getting a pumping/nursing schedule was hard with 1, I can't imagine for 2!
ReplyDeleteSo happy things seem to be working with the new plan. I remember the guilt though. It passes with each wet diaper though. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you and your doctor have come up with a solution for now. I know exactly how hard it is to feed two babies, especially when one's not the best feeder. Henry was very nearly exclusively bottle-fed because he wasn't gaining weight quickly enough. We supplemented with small amounts of cup-fed formula after each nursing session, just to boost, though at two months, we stopped that and started giving one 4 oz. bottle a day to both boys.
ReplyDeleteBreast feeding is hard. Breast feeding two is INSANELY hard. You are a total rockstar for doing all that you've done so far, and for continuing to pump for BB. I know the guilt is killer, but you are (and have been) trying to do everything in your power to give your children the best start possible. I think you just have to keep that in mind, that you are doing everything you can. If some things fall by the wayside, I think you (ahem, *I*) have to acknowledge it for what it is, which is STILL the very best you can do in the given circumstances.
I know how hard it is to do so, but try to give yourself a break. I'm hoping for good news on Thursday.