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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Finding Rhythm

Tapping your foot along to a catchy song on the radio.

Clapping your hands together as you sing Pat-A-Cake with a child.

Feeling your heart begin to race as you prepare to speak in front of a group.

Life is all about rhythm.

When things are going good, a life rhythm is smooth and continuous, you might not even think about it. Things just click and work like they should.

On the opposite end, when things are hard in life, you feel clunky, like something just isn't fitting into gear.

The weird thing about life's rhythm is that you can often feel like it's smooth in one area, and super bumpy in another.

For most of the last two years, I've felt like my rhythm was like riding down a pot hole covered road.

The twins arrival was a dream come true, something that I had hoped for, wished for and prayed for.  That doesn't mean it's been all sunshine and unicorns around here. 

Any mom of a new baby will tell you, the first couple of months are just about survival.

I can tell you, that when raising twins, the first year is all about survival.  I'm so thankful that I took lots of pictures, since I don't have a lot of memories from the day to day doings that year. The second year was better, and I see glimpses of good things in this year ahead of me, before they turn three.

The problem with feeling like things are going well?  I've started to feel like I can be active outside of the house.  I'm involved with my MOPS group, on the steering team, I'm recording secretary of the local twins club, I'm attending a weekly Community Bible Study.

All good things.  Things that make my heart happy, give me a chance to interact with and support others.

I'm just struggling with finding my rhythm from adding new tasks and obligations to my daily schedule.  Add in Miss O.'s extra curriculars and we're a mess. For the first time, M. and I have moved from a paper calendar to go.ogle calendar.  It was needed, as it's getting too hard to keep what everyone is doing or where we need to be and when straight.

I know it will come, but I'm impatient on how long it's taking for me to feel like we've hit our rhythm again.

If you haven't noticed, I'm struggling with trying to get back into the routine of blogging, as well.  I miss coming to this space, and typing out my thoughts, feelings.  It seems like I have so much to say, but when I actually carve out some time to sit down and write, I end up starting and stopping, worrying that what I have to say isn't making sense or isn't good enough to publish.  As I mentioned to some friends today, I miss the days where I could just write, and not feel like I have a filter between my heart and my brain. 

So, how is your rhythm today?





4 comments:

  1. I agree with you about a rhythm. We had one until the twins got here with E and her activities.
    I just try to keep moving these days. And when I think of doing something I do it right then and there or I write it down. I have pads of paper and pens scattered throughout the house.
    It sounds like you are doing pretty good. Yay you for getting out of the house for your Bible Study! I need to remember to do something for myself.
    I think also as the twins get older things will get easier. I tell M that too. We both joke that we hope the boys will play the same sport.
    I try to take things one day at a time.

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  2. Thank goodness for smart phones and Google calendar! I think at any given time I probably have 10 lists in progress on my Note Everything app. But it is nice to be able to jot down gift ideas when I think of them all year instead of panicking at Birthdays or Christmas.
    I hear you about rhythms. But it sounds like you are filling your life with good things and the balance will come! Kudos to you for being so involved.

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  3. my rythm has been off for years. Maybe almost 3 years. (which, like you, coinsided with the birth of my rainbow baby.)

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  4. Rhythm? What's that??? :) We just got a nanny for a few mornings a week and that might help me find mine again. You forget how important your own life is when your main job is to care for others so I am so happy to hear that you are getting out and finding your own space back in the world. Twins are hard. I married one. My MIL doesn't even remember when they got their first teeth let alone anything else for the first 2 years. You're doing an amazing job!

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