Literally and figuratively.
As I was cutting up the twins' lunch the other day, I realized how much of my life right now is either involving or being experienced in a "cube".
Everyday I cut up multiple kinds of veggies and fruits into cubes for the twins to eat. Three times a day, at least. I can not seem to cut enough quick enough to satisfy them. Especially because Big Boy is always using both fists to shove the food into his mouth! Do you know how monotonous this is? My favorite kitchen utensil is a pizza cutter these days. It's fast and does a quick job of creating those cubes for my babies.
My house, for the most part, is a cube or square. I don't think I've ever spent SO much time in these four walls as I have since May of 2010, when bedrest started. Some days, I feel like the walls are closing in on me...since I don't get out much. As a former working mom, I'm still adjusting to not leaving the house everyday.
Blocks. These are the twins' favorite toys right now. Every day I build high stacks of blocks so that they can just run over and knock them down. The first time I did it, they both stood in awe of my creation and clapped for me...it was one of the Cutest. Things. Ever.
Big Boy is all boy. Which means he's a climber. Multiple times a day, I sweep him off the back of the couch and stick him into the pack n' play (another cube)...I keep hoping he'll put 2 and 2 together and perhaps stop scaling the couch, but it hasn't worked yet.
This space, my blog. Sadly, it's been quite ignored lately. I'll think about posts, but never seem to find a time to type them out. I've been trying to post about the babies 1st birthday party forever...yet I never find time to do it.
Most of all I feel like I'm stuck in a box in here.
I started "Not The Path I Chose" when I was in the throes of secondary IF. I just needed a place to vent my frustrations and "talk" about my struggles. I never expected the amazing support the IF blogging community has given me. When I was in treatment, it was wonderful to know that I had a little cheer leading section behind me who understood how stressful that is!
Now that the twins are here, I just don't feel comfortable here. *sigh*
I know it's *my* space, and I can take it in any direction I want to. If I'm being honest, I started struggling in this space while I was pregnant. I was so worried and scared that I might come across as not being grateful if I complained about the pregnancy aches & pains. I still worry about hurting someone with my postings of success, even though I loved reading about the success of someone else while I was in the middle of our struggle.
So, I've been thinking about a revamp around here...maybe a new look, definitely a new tag line to refocus on who *I* am. Anyone have any suggestions?
Maybe that will make me feel comfortable again.