He gets it. Infertility, that is.
Now, this might sound obvious, but it's not. Until Wednesday night, I just thought he felt bad about our lack of a second child because I felt bad. Because he doesn't like to see me cry. Because it was the right thing to do. I felt like he tolerated my craziness when it came to IF. You know, he came along to the RE because he was expected to. I really thought that he didn't really care that we only had one child. Because any time I broke down about our lack of siblings for Miss O., he would say, "I'm just happy that we have her."
Then the news came.
M.'s brother called. They are pregnant. Again. Back in August, they spent the majority of a family gathering asking me, the infertile, how to get pregnant. Because, they had started to try again, and it hadn't worked yet. After. Three. Months. Apparently, I was helpful, because their due date is in May.
Here's how my phone call from M. went:
Photogrl: "Hey, what's up?"
M: "Nothing. I'm having a crappy night."
P: "Why? Is work being a pain?"
M: "No, I'm pissed off. And I've been pissed off all night."
P: "...OK?" (at this point, I'm wracking my brain for anything I could have done)
M: "It took me a while to figure out why I'm pissed, but then I figured it out. J. called and they are pregnant."
Yup, he finally admitted it. It hurts him, too, when people announce their pregnancies.
I love him.
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3 days worth of ICLW visits squished into one entry.
Comments Returned:
I'm glad that it sounds like he truly gets it - that is sometimes rare to find in a husband. Aren't they just the best :-)
ReplyDeleteoh irony. isn't it fun?
ReplyDelete1. weird that the infertile are experts on *how* to get pregnant. i hope you added some hokey stuff for fun....like "make sure to stand on your head." ok, it would be mean...but so, so funny.
2. i never wanted k to feel sad about IF. in fact, it was one of the things i hated about IF. but it sure felt good to know that i wasn't alone.
i am gald that you have a little company, though i wish neither of you knew IF.
While your situation isn't good, it's good that not only does your husband understand what you are feeling, he's going through it with you. That's a tremendous blessing.
ReplyDeleteICLW
I think the guys have a hard time admitting their true feelings because they feel they need to be our rock. We feel like we are the only ones struggling emotionally, and then a conversation like this enlightens us about our men. It's nice to know we are all human, and I bet it made you feel better knowing your hubby really does have an opinion related to a sibling for Miss O.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on a conversation breakthrough!
It sucks they have to feel this way at all, but it is nice and comforting when they get it.
ReplyDeleteICLW
It is great when they finally reach the same page as we are on.
ReplyDeleteSad too.. that another has to share our misery.
Here from IComLeavWe... (adoption,pregnancy loss, IVF twins)
My Little Drummer Boys
wow you are amazing putting in all those comments ! You rock !
I think that all too often we overlook how this all effects our men - cos they always seem to be so strong... *sigh* Sorry that he had to feel so bad cos someone else is preggers...
ReplyDeleteI hope you get there soon!
(ICLW)
I'm sorry M is hurting. I do think it makes it easier in someways when they understand it. Of course, it also sucks when they're hurting and you can't fix it. *hug* for you both.
ReplyDelete