Better Late Than Never

The last couple of posts have been kinda whiny and heavy...so I thought I'd finally share some pictures of my new 'do!

In July, right before the twins' birthday, I decided to chop my hair. Over 10 inches was cut off, and I donated it to Locks for Love.

Here's some before and after shots...

As of now, it's getting kinda straggly and needs cut again. I'm thinking about adding in some deep red highlights? low lights? for fall...we'll see.

Oh, and since I can't seem to find time to blog anymore, I finally broke down and created a twitter account. If you want to follow me, you can find me here.

Thank you so much for putting up with my complaining....and for some ideas to make things better!

To Wean Or Not To Wean...

...that is the question.

And I have NO idea how to do either, anymore.

Things have been a little rough here at Not The Path I Chose over the last 2 weeks.

I swear both Pretty Girl and Big Boy are teething and having a growth spurt at the same time.

Big Boy, who usually sleeps through the night has been getting up wanting a bottle in the middle of the night, and is just restless when he does sleep.

Pretty Girl has yet to sleep through the night. I was okay with her getting up once a night to nurse, but that one nursing session has somehow become an "all night buffet".

I'm not dealing well with that.

As for weaning, I've been following her lead. We're done to 3 feedings during daylight hours. She usually nurses upon waking, once mid-morning OR mid-afternoon, and then at bed time. I let her dictate, I try to follow her lead.

It seems that she's ok without the bre.ast during the day, but then won't give it up at night!

My poor nips are SO sore. She has 8 teeth now, and likes to use them. My sleep, that was already poor, is worse. I feel like I've been thrust back to those sleep deprived infant days, where I was getting up every 2 hours.

I feel helpless.

M. and I have talked about him getting her to soothe, instead of me. The problem is that she knows I'm there, and doesn't want him. I've talked about sleeping downstairs, so I'm not available...I don't know. Maybe we'll try that this weekend, when he doesn't have to work the same day.

So, BFing mommas out there...what did you do? Have you experienced this? Help!

Livin' in a Cube

Literally and figuratively.

As I was cutting up the twins' lunch the other day, I realized how much of my life right now is either involving or being experienced in a "cube".

Everyday I cut up multiple kinds of veggies and fruits into cubes for the twins to eat. Three times a day, at least. I can not seem to cut enough quick enough to satisfy them. Especially because Big Boy is always using both fists to shove the food into his mouth! Do you know how monotonous this is? My favorite kitchen utensil is a pizza cutter these days. It's fast and does a quick job of creating those cubes for my babies.

My house, for the most part, is a cube or square. I don't think I've ever spent SO much time in these four walls as I have since May of 2010, when bedrest started. Some days, I feel like the walls are closing in on me...since I don't get out much. As a former working mom, I'm still adjusting to not leaving the house everyday.

Blocks. These are the twins' favorite toys right now. Every day I build high stacks of blocks so that they can just run over and knock them down. The first time I did it, they both stood in awe of my creation and clapped for me...it was one of the Cutest. Things. Ever.

Big Boy is all boy. Which means he's a climber. Multiple times a day, I sweep him off the back of the couch and stick him into the pack n' play (another cube)...I keep hoping he'll put 2 and 2 together and perhaps stop scaling the couch, but it hasn't worked yet.

This space, my blog. Sadly, it's been quite ignored lately. I'll think about posts, but never seem to find a time to type them out. I've been trying to post about the babies 1st birthday party forever...yet I never find time to do it.

Most of all I feel like I'm stuck in a box in here.

I started "Not The Path I Chose" when I was in the throes of secondary IF. I just needed a place to vent my frustrations and "talk" about my struggles. I never expected the amazing support the IF blogging community has given me. When I was in treatment, it was wonderful to know that I had a little cheer leading section behind me who understood how stressful that is!

Now that the twins are here, I just don't feel comfortable here. *sigh*

I know it's *my* space, and I can take it in any direction I want to. If I'm being honest, I started struggling in this space while I was pregnant. I was so worried and scared that I might come across as not being grateful if I complained about the pregnancy aches & pains. I still worry about hurting someone with my postings of success, even though I loved reading about the success of someone else while I was in the middle of our struggle.

So, I've been thinking about a revamp around here...maybe a new look, definitely a new tag line to refocus on who *I* am. Anyone have any suggestions?

Maybe that will make me feel comfortable again.

Many Thanks!

Thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers for my BIL....it is SO appreciated!

The surgery went well. It was just about 5 hours long and the doctors are optimistic that they removed all of the tumor. It was cancerous, but was a slow growing tumor not related to his test.ic.ular cancer. After the full pathology report is in, the doctors will decide if radiation or chemotherapy is needed.

He'll be in the hospital for a few days, and will hopefully be home no later than Monday.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!