Sometimes, 2 is better than 1...

It's not the best ultrasound picture in the world, but I think it's clear enough.

All my worry about seeing nothing was for naught.

We have ♥ ♥ , yes, 2 heartbeats!

I feel much relief at seeing the little flickers of the hearts. Common sense tells me we're not out of the woods, yet...but M. and I have crossed another hurdle.

First retrieval, then transfer, one positive beta, then a doubling beta, and now this!

I am SO blessed.

Cake Time

Last Saturday, I had a great time working on another cake.





My favorite cousin's daughter was turning 4 and she was having a duel party with another little cousin who was turning 2. The theme was "Wizard of Oz".





The first step was creating the ruby slippers, the pieces for the rainbow, and the witch's hat and broom.

Next, I stacked the tiers, iced them emerald green and rolled out a yellow brick road out of fondant.

I took some more of the green icing and piped grass all around the road and the tiers.

Once we drove the 2 hours to the party, I finished the cake by adding the extras...

I hope it makes you smile!

T Minus 6 Days

*waves*

Hi! Remember me?

Yeah, I've been a pretty awful blogger lately. Haven't been posting much, or commenting much. BUT I have been reading and keeping up with you all!

Please don't hate me, but I'm pretty boring right now.

Feeling tired. A little nauseous. Plus, I've started to come down with a lovely cold.

I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that I am actually pregnant. With no spotting, cramping or bleeding...it's a shock! I will admit that I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Ultrasound is Monday at 9:30am.

Still Here

I wish I had a reason for not blogging since my exciting news, but I don't really.

I've been a little nauseous and very tired, but really that's not an excuse for not writing something.

Instead, I've been living in fear.

Every time I go to the bathroom, I brace myself to see some spotting, a sign of the inevitable end. Sad and pathetic, I know.

I can't stop myself, though.

I want to be positive. I want to believe that this pregnancy is here to stay. I want to be excited and hopeful.

Who wants to be the "debbie downer"? The few people who knew we did IVF this cycle, have asked how it turned out...I tend to say something, like, "Everything is going how we want it to, but it's really early and anything can happen." M. is excited.

I'm more like a see saw. One minute I'm up, convinced that I'm going to have a baby, and the next minute I'm in tears, convinced that it's only a matter of time before I miscarry. I hold my breath with every twinge I feel, wondering if strong cramps will be following.

So, that's what I've been doing...

Second Hurdle Crossed

Well, the second hurdle has been crossed...

Beta #2 came in at 1139!

I think I can start breathing a little.

Dr. Hope doesn't want to see me until December 7th now, for an ultrasound. Eek! I hope I can make it that long!

How it all went down...

Yesterday morning, after getting Miss O. on the bus, M. and I got ready to head in for the beta.

The plan was to have my blood drawn, go out to breakfast, and return an hour later for results. Whatever the news would be, at least we would only have to wait an hour.

My stomach was a ball of nerves, and I couldn't stop shaking. Dr. Hope stopped into the blood work room and asked if we had cheated. "Nope!", I said, thinking I should have taken a test before I came in. For me, though, seeing those 2 lines has never been the problem, it's holding on to the pregnancy that's hard. Once the vial was full, Nurse Peppy sent us on our way, saying, "We'll see you in an hour."

We did go and have breakfast. How I choked anything down is beyond me? I alternated eating a few bites, with running to the bathroom, sure I was going to throw up. I never did, but man, was my stomach churning.

Outside of the office, in the car, M. and I sat for about 15 minutes. I remember looking over to him and wanting to cry, instead I asked him, "Do we have to go in? Can't we just pretend I'm pregnant?" I pleaded with him not to hate me if it was negative. He just kept looking at me and saying, "Whatever happens, I will still love you." God, I love him.

Finally, we headed in.

I don't know why, but I brought in my full sharps container. I think I just figured that if it didn't work, I could just leave it there and not have to see it anymore. M. gave it to the receptionist, while trying to read her face. I just sat down and stared at the floor.

After about 5 minutes, Nurse Peppy opened the waiting room door, I scanned her face, desperate to find some sort of clue. She put her hands on her hips, and said, "Come on back, guys..." I figured it was over, I started to prepare myself for the worst.

Once we both were in her office, she asked why we brought in the sharps container... I think I mumbled something about probably not needing it anymore. Then Nurse Peppy said, "Well, it better go back home with you because you're going to need it!", with a big smile. The next few minutes are a blur, I remember hearing the beta number (669!), jumping up and hugging her! She told me maybe I should hug M. first, so I hugged him. Then the tears started.

After I calmed down, we talked about how this is just one hurdle for me.

Yes, we have a positive beta.

Next step is a repeat beta tomorrow, on Wednesday.

I can't allow myself to think too far ahead, not yet. That's what 5 consecutive losses will do to you.

BUT for right now, we're celebrating!

:::::::::::::::::::::

Thank you ALL for all of your thoughts, prayers, and congratulations!

I have no idea how I could have gotten through the last few months without your support.

You rock! :)

Beta Day!

This has to be quick, as I have to run off to work, but I didn't want to leave you all hanging....

Beta this morning at 14dp3dt was, 669!