Ah-choo!

I've got a case of the sniffles...again.

Why does it seem that every time I try to improve my diet and get back on the exercise bandwagon, THIS is what happens. I just started feeling good again. Healthy. Like I could try to run again.

Instead, I sit here tonight with a sinus pressure headache, a very sore nose, and a hacking cough.

Lovely.

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Thank you all for the ideas for some supportive undergarments!

No Nord.strom's close to me here, but I'm going to take the advice of getting measured and going from there. I hate spending money on them, but I suppose they don't call it the foundation department for nothing!

Get The Vote Out!

First and foremost, have you voted for Mel yet? If not, click here, click on Stirrup Queens and then find your way back here. Today is the LAST day for voting, so make sure you get your vote in!

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I'm having a blah day. You know, one of those days where you get up, get moving, think you look okay as you leave the house. I thought I looked cute this morning. I was wrong.

When I got into work, I usually but a pot of coffee on for me and some co-workers. The company offers free coffee, but it's not very good and I have to go to the 3rd floor to get it. Yep, I work in the basement...classy, no? Let's face it, I'm lazy and kind of a coffee snob. Who wants to truck up 3 flights of stairs for coffee you don't even like?

Anyways, I was filling up the carafe and I looked in the mirror.

Wow. I have NO idea what I was thinking when I got dressed this morning.

I have a green and brown cardigan sweater on with a brown turtleneck underneath. It's cold out & snowing again, so warmth is important. (the basement is not very warm, either). Sounds okay, right? Well, not so much. I don't know what's wrong with the outfit, but let's just say that I look like my bre.asts are hanging down to my waist. Could be the br.a, the shirt, or the way the cardigan is...I don't know.

But I won't be wearing it again.

As if i needed any more inspiration to lose weight, it was staring right back at me this morning.

In the form of a blob = me.

Any suggestions on br.as that will hold you up...even if you're a D.D.D?

Show & Tell

This is my first try at Show & Tell...this is my car, buried in the snow.

On Friday night it started snowing. By Saturday morning we had about 7 inches on the ground. It didn't stop there...as the snow continued to fall, about an inch an hour. We now have about 14 inches on the ground.

Crazy!

Have something to show? Click here.

Are You Serious???

Or, why I'm so angry I could spit nails right now.

M.'s brother is expecting baby #2 in May. I thought I had made peace with it, and actually somewhat enjoyed the holidays with him and his wife. The wife that was SO upset when they hadn't got pregnant after three WHOLE months of trying this summer, and asked me for advice.

I was fine...until I got this email, with ultrasound pictures attached yesterday.

"We just had our ultrasounds and the doctor saids it looks like a girl. Due date is still May 16th. The good news is we have all the hand me downs from J."

OMG. Are you for real? Don't sound so excited. The good news is that you have hand me downs??? How about the fact that everything looks good and the baby seems to be healthy?

I thought I was overreacting, maybe misunderstanding because it was an email, but then I talked to M. Apparently his brother called him to tell him the news. From what I'm told the call was basically filled with disappointment as he told my husband, "At least you still have a chance at getting Dad's train set." Is this what having a baby is all about? A train set?

All day, I had to force myself not to email him back. Because it wouldn't have been pretty.

I would give my right arm to have a baby, a sibling for Miss O. I wouldn't care if it was a boy, a girl, or a monkey. Okay, okay, a monkey would be a little weird, but you know what I mean. I would love to have a pregnancy advance to the point of having the "big" ultrasound again...what a milestone that would be for me. I don't know if I can handle another family get together, knowing that this baby is a disappointment. Because a baby is a miracle.

Am I overreacting, reading to far into it? What would you do?

Losing Battle

Doesn't everyone want to lose a few pounds?

It seems everywhere you look, you're inundated with messages on how to lose weight. Try this pill, eat only these foods...you can't escape the message. From TV shows to every woman's magazine out there, experts tout their plans. And, of course, their plan is the quickest, easiest, the best!

Now, I know I need to lose a *few* pounds. Alright, I need to lose a LOT of pounds to be considered healthy ;)

I have fought my weight almost my entire life. Throughout school, I participated in 3 sports a year, and looking back at pictures...I looked good. Healthy and very athletic. BUT, because I wasn't a tiny size, I went my whole high school career thinking I could stand to lose 20 pounds. I would give anything right now to look like I did my senior year of high school! Four years of college added about 20 pounds to my 5'3" frame, and I started my first "real" job. Boy, did I gain. No joke, only three months into my job, I had put on another 20 pounds. Really. That's what happens when you eat every meal out and don't exercise at ALL. At least for me.

I managed to get the weight off for my wedding, but it didn't last long. By the time I conceived Miss O, I was at my heaviest. Ever. And it sure didn't end there. I don't even know how much I weighed when I had her...I refused to look at the scale near the end. Bre.ast feeding her melted the weight off, but when I stopped nursing when she was 9 months old, I didn't change how I was eating. By her 1st birthday, I almost weighed as much as the day she was born. I worked hard to get all the "baby" weight off and then some between 2005 and 2006.

Ironically, I was at the lowest weight I've been at in YEARS when I had the ectopic pregnancy. And that's when I started gaining again.

So, I'm currently just below what I weighed when I got pregnant in 2003. I'm not at my heaviest, thank goodness, but I'm not comfortable with where I am or how my clothes are fitting. AND, since it looks like 2009 is going to be the year we decide to give IVF a shot, I need to get on the ball. 'Cause if I'm going to lay down that kind of cash, I want to give it the best opportunity to happen, you know?

The good news is M. is on board with me. He wants to lose a few pounds, so we're both currently counting points. And we've made it to the gym twice so far this week! I've told him, this isn't a diet this time...it's going to be a way of life. I don't want Miss O ever to worry about her weight or tie her self-esteem into a number on the scale. I just want her to be healthy and happy.

Here's to a slimmer, and VERY healthy 2009!

Wrapping up 2008...

...in 2009!

I have started and stopped this post more times that I care to admit. It's now five days into the new year, and I figure I better stop nit-picking and just post it.

2008 started out as THE year. It ended up being just A year.

Here's a recap.

January: I had just survived a merger, minus quite a bit of pay, but hey, I had a job! Also, started seeing an RE...plenty of hope to go around.

February: IUI #1 cancelled due to dominant follies on the left side.

March: Full speed ahead, beautiful follies on my right side. Trigger shot, and 2, count 'em, 2 IUI's a day a part. How could this NOT work?

April: IUI = BFN. Boo! A trip to the land of Mouse helps lessen the pain.

May: No IUI again. Hello, left ovary...stop being an overachiever, please. Oh, and I hate my new job duties.

June: RE break. Start training for a sprint triathlon. We're going to do this naturally, it's happened before, it can happen again, right? Start acupuncture to help that along.

July: Complete my first sprint triathlon. Find a few weeks of appreciation for what my body can do, before I get another BFN and failed cycle.

August: Another month of acupuncture, another beautiful chart, another BFN. Are you kidding me?

September: New position at work...loving it! Have to give up the acupuncture, though, can't get to an appointment.

October: Yup, you guessed it, a BFN.

November: After a 44 day cycle with many, many BFN's and a negative beta, I realize that it's been a full year since I've seen those two pink lines.

December: Miss O gets sick, M. gets sick, I get sick. Just before the holidays, we are all finally better.

So, one year later, I'm no closer to another child, than I was at this time last year. But, I have found a wonderful community of people who get it. Who understand what the struggle is. Some who've overcome the odds and give me such hope.

And for that I am extremely thankful.

Happy New Year!

Christmas, New Year's and all holiday gatherings are FINALLY over.

Don't get me wrong, I love family and family gatherings...but this year, with Christmas and New Year's falling on a Thursday, it's just been really tiring. I've had both days off (for the 1st time in years!), yet I've had to work on Friday the day after both. This means to see my family, we've traveled 2 hours by car to and from in one day. It's not a bad trip, but I'm exhausted after spending 4 hours on 3 separate days over the course of ONE week, because we couldn't stay over because of MY work schedule.

Even tonight, I got off work, we had to go M.'s parents to do Christmas one more time with his brother and sister in law. Whew.

I have SO many posts running through my head. I have a "wrapping" up 2008 post, and a what I hope for in 2009 post. Hopefully, I can knock them out tomorrow. I'm ready to just sit at home and do what I want to do...which is catch up on every one's blogs and find out what you all have been doing for the holidays!

So, what was your favorite part of the holidays this year? Or did you just feel overwhelmed, like me?